Going Under
by NeoGirl1704
Summary: Edward leaves Bella with good intentions, but it wrecks Bella. She pushes through her grief, joins a new coven, and experiences life with an emptiness inside of her. When Edward comes back, will she let him in? [::.22,000 reads.::]
1. Naive

**Going Under**

When I was human, I remember being naïve. Not that I could remember much, just small bits and pieces, usually pivotal moments during my eighteen years of human existence, and they played like movies inside my head.

I mean, how could I actually believe it when he told me I was beautiful? I knew that I wasn't, somewhere deep inside, but I let his words rule over me.

How could I believe it when he said he'd loved me? I loved him so much; there are no words to describe how I felt about him. I thought, no, I knew, that he loved me back, at least for a little while. I always knew that he would come to his senses and see me for what I really was; human, weak, and pathetic. But he, he was perfect. He was perfect at everything. From loving me, to making me believe that I was beautiful and that he cared for me, to making my heart go into frenzied palpations every time he pressed his icy lips to mine…

But what Edward was the most perfect at was lying. Edward promised me forever. Eternity. That boy promised me the world, and I was naïve enough to believe him. For a long time I figured that the vampire-version of forever was much shorter than a human-version. An eternity shorter. But, being a vampire for as long as I have, I learned that this is not the case. It was simply a lack of caring. Or way too much caring to be completely necessary.

Edward Cullen wrecked me. He said he wanted me to be safe. He was putting me in constant danger, couldn't live with himself if he were to cause me pain. Well how about now? I was no longer human, no longer normal. I was his equal. Every day was painful. I yearned for him, yet I hated him. For fifty years I have experienced mixed motions, torturing me as I contemplated forever what he had really been trying to tell me.

I wondered when I was still human why he didn't just change me, to make me like him. It would just strengthen our grip on each other, making sure that we'd have forever. Again, I was naïve.

So now that I am what I so wanted to become, I wish that I were again human. So many experiences I had missed out on. I could still do them now as a vampire, but it would be completely different. And on top of that, there was the constant loneliness. It was like a dull ache in the back of your mind, like a headache that never quite goes away. I was always surrounded by my coven, my family, but inside, I was partly empty. And I know they know that they can never fill the Cullen's place. No matter how often Olivia took me shopping with her, no matter how many games of baseball Andrew played with me.

Don't get me wrong, it felt so lovely to be able to enjoy these things with them, my family, but there was always something missing. I ignored it during the day, while there were things to keep me busy. But when the human world slept, the emptiness crushed me. And as soon as I had met the Hadrian's I noticed that the gaping hole where my heart used to be was slowly filling. Now living was not as hard as it used to be. I was eternally grateful to them. I owed them my life. What was left of it, anyway.


	2. An Event

**Going Under**

**Ch. 2 – An Event**

**A/N: This chapter was so fun to write!!**

**Disclaimer: Though I do dream about it frequently, I do not own Twilight or New Moon. Or, sadly, Edward…**

"Hurry up Bella; we're going to be late!" Olivia shouted frantically, standing by the door with the rest of my family. She wore a beautiful Versace number; olive green, sequins edging the Corelli lace designs along the bodice, and feathering out once it hit her thighs, a large slit running up mid-thigh exposed one of her perfect, snowy-white legs. Her long red hair was pulled up into an elegant up-do, and her golden eyes were played up using black eyeliner and mascara. The simple angle of the eyeliner made the outfit absolutely breathtaking.

"You're the one that stuck me in this thing! Plus I can barely walk in these death-traps you call shoes!" I yelled back at her, carefully taking each stair one at a time. As soon as I hit the last step, I fumbled forwards a little bit, but caught myself on the banister. I could save myself now. As I walked towards Olivia, her eyes lit up as she saw me fully dressed, and I glimpsed myself in the reflection from the large bay window in the front of the house.

"Wow," I breathed, taking myself in. I never really got over the beauty that I now had, thanks to becoming a vampire. A black strapless Jovani evening gown hugged my curves in all the right places. It cascaded down my body to the floor, where the black strappy heels that Olivia had bought me earlier today, along with the dress, peeked out underneath. On the bodice, real diamonds sparkled, adding dimension to the gown.

"Right?!" Olivia exclaimed, gliding over to me to tuck a few of the chocolate-brown curls back into place that had escaped the loose bun on the back of my head. My eyes felt twice as heavy for some reason, probably because of all the makeup the smoky eye look needed. Underneath all the discomfort, I really didn't mind the dress at all.

"Wow is right," Michelle, my mother, said once Olivia had stepped back so everyone else could see. My cheeks turned the slightest shade of pink as they all looked me over. Michelle wore a simple navy blue satin dress, and added sparkle with a belt that hung loosely over her hips. A whistle erupted from the lips of my brother, Andrew, and my father, Aaron, grinned. "You look beautiful, my dear," he said simply, kissing my hand. "Okay, okay, I get it," I said, my blush becoming more defined as I looked down at the ground, failing to hide my grin. Aaron released my hand, and it fell to my side, the simple diamond bracelet that I wore around my wrist catching the light and sparkling brightly.

"It's time to go now," Olivia said, and opened the door. Michelle turned the lights off, and everybody followed Andrew out the door. The tuxedo-clad men stood on the left side of the door of the black stretch limousine and helped the ladies in the car, while the driver held the door open. Normally, to save time, we would run to wherever we were going, but considering that we were on our way to Aaron's bosses' annual gala, at which plenty of humans would be present, we decided a limo would be a more practical way of travel. Aaron worked as the head of the ER at Banks' General Hospital, located in Banks, Oregon. It was a small, rainy town, much like Forks.

"Now, as you all know, we must act civil tonight," Aaron started as the limo pulled away from the curb, looking all of us in the eyes as he spoke. "Olivia, if you need something, you will walk to it and get it, using manual labor. Humans can't use telekinesis," he reminded her gently. Olivia nodded, and Aaron's eyes shifted to Andrew. "Andrew, if you happen to get over-emotional, we won't have tornadoes tearing the place down," he said simply, and received a nod. Andrew's power was to control the weather. "Bella, feel free to use your power at will," he said to me, and I nodded. Aaron looked over at Michelle, his wife, and smiled gently. "Cut the guys some slack, will you?" was all Aaron said, before we all erupted into fits of giggles. Michelle's power was very easily used and probably the most useful out of all of ours, second to mine of course. She could make people do whatever she wished.

As we pulled up into the parking lot of the Grande Ballroom, we all mentally prepared ourselves for what was up ahead. Having gone hunting yesterday, thirst would not be a problem, neither would controlling tempers or flying champagne glasses; Andrew and Olivia had become exceptional in controlling their behavior.

The driver came around the side of the car, opening the door for us. Olivia was out first, then me, Michelle, Andrew, and then Aaron. We entered the building, after I tripped up the stairs and nearly fell down, and I looked around excitedly. It was beautifully decorated; round tables with four or more chairs stationed around them, everything done up in white and maroon satin, strands of lights twisted around the ceiling really added an elegant touch, and the dance floor was huge. I looked sadly at it, bringing my mood down several notches. Never will I ever be able to glide effortlessly around it, the only person I've ever loved in the lead.

I noticed then, that Olivia was gently tugging my arm, and we were being led by a waiter to show us where our table was. Aaron pulled the seat out for Michelle; Andrew pulled the seat out for Olivia, and then mine. I looked at him, and he seemed sincere. I smiled and sat down gracefully. Olivia and Andrew were married, as were Michelle and Aaron. It was a struggle to be the odd one out, knowing that it would always be that way.

The quartet on the corner of the dance floor was playing a sweet tune, when I looked over and noticed a pair of two graceful, whirling figures. The female had short, spiky black hair, and a pixie-like face. The male had similar features and dark hair. They were both too graceful to be human, but they could be professional ballroom dancers. As I took in a big breath to clear my head, the scent hit me like a ton of bricks. My breath caught in my throat as realization dawned upon me. I would know those faces, and that sweet, irresistible smell from anywhere…


	3. Living It Up

**Going Under**

**Ch. 3 – Living It Up**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight, New Moon, Edward, or a shiny Volvo...

I stared, my mouth wide open at the dancing pair of traitors. Everything else disappeared around me as a tidal wave of memories flooded my senses. I had to stay away from Alice at all costs, and maintain my mood so that Jasper could not sense my distress.

As I silently plotted my escape from this ruined party, still staring at them, another thought sent chills down my spine and turned my skin to gooseflesh. Was Edward here? Was the only man I have ever loved, and ever will love, whom I had last seen over fifty years ago, here in this building with me? Oh, oh, I could not do this.

I started violently as a hand, belonging to Olivia, tapped me on the shoulder gently. She looked at me strangely for a second, and then apparently remembered the reason why she needed my attention. "Bella, Aaron was just introducing you to someone," she said, the look still in place.

As my head surfaced from the fog that had enveloped my thoughts, I realized that Alice and Jasper had exited the dance floor, and must have quite some time ago, yet for some reason I continued to stare. "Sorry," I mumbled, my cheeks turning a slight shade of pink as I turned my head to apologize for my rudeness and shake hands with my father's friends, when I came face to face with a beautiful, blonde vampire; Carlisle.

At that moment, I swear to God that my porcelain-colored skin paled even more, and his did too. "Bella?" he said incredulously, staring at me as if I was some kind of alien. My mind went blank, as if it had just dropped every thought it was trying to process, and I exhaled a long breath. In the blink of an eye, I had disappeared from my seat and escaped to the confines of the women's restroom. I slammed the door on the first stall I could get into, and sank to the ground, shaking violently. He would tell them all that I was here. Edward…he would try to find me.

Alice would have known I was here; her visions gave every surprise away. _Lucky her_, I thought bitterly. Jasper, I knew, could sense my distress right now. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme…they would all just be extremely surprised. Carlisle knew practically everybody that would have worked in the hospital, and Edward can easily sift through my family's thoughts if I wasn't there.

But all of this, I was simply assuming that they wanted to find me. What if they all stopped caring about me fifty years ago? It was obvious that they had, and I was stupid for thinking that they would even want to see me now. Yet the look in Carlisle's eyes when he recognized me…I knew it was more than just shock. It was relief.

I heard someone open the bathroom door; maybe it was Michelle looking for me, to scold me for running at vampire speed in front of humans. Something cold touched my arm, and I let out a startled yelp. "Bella, what is the matter with you?" Olivia said, gently wrapping her arms around my shoulders to help me stop shaking. "That's…that's him. That was his father!" I exclaimed, waiting for the tears that never came.

Olivia immediately understood, and took to patting me on the back and stroking my hair, telling me that it would be alright. I began to hiccup as my dry sobs died down. "Why now? We are finally getting out of the house, and they ruin it! I just can't believe it," I said. "Bella, honey, none of us had any idea that this would happen. I'm so sorry," Olivia said.

"It's not fair," I mumbled, running out of things to say. "No, it's not fair," she reassured me. "Did you see….him?" she asked tentatively. "No," I replied. "I only saw A-Alice and Jasper. And Carlisle," I told her. "Other than Carlisle, did the others see you?" Olivia asked. I could tell that she was going to try and coax me out of the restroom. "No, I don't think so."

"Then how do you know they will all know that you're here?" she asked, watching me carefully. "I don't really," I added, and began to realize that I had probably just overreacted. "Bella, just come out and enjoy the party. I mean, after all this time, what are the chances…," Olivia said, and for some reason, her words made me feel better. _They forgot me a long time ago. It's about time I forget about them_, I thought to myself. _As if_, another part of my mind answered.

"And if they, other than Carlisle, do recognize you, especially _him_, you show them what they've been missing. Shove it in their faces! Make them suffer for once!" Olivia said, and suddenly, her words gave me courage. "You're the better person in this fight, Bella, and you shouldn't be forced to hide because of their dumb mistake," she added. "You're right. You're damn right, Olivia. I am going to show them…well, I don't know, but they'll be the ones to suffer after tonight," I said, and stood up, stretching my cramped muscles after sitting for so long. "Yeah!" Olivia exclaimed, rising with me. "Yeah!" I said back, and unlocked the stall door. "Take what you can," she started, "And give nothing back!" I finished.

We grinned, slapped each other a hi-5, and walked to the mirror. She touched up my hair and makeup quickly, and we smoothed the wrinkles out of our dresses. I owed Olivia so much already; I don't know how I'm ever going to pay her back for this. "Thanks, 'Liv," I said. She smiled, and opened the door for me.

Andrew was waiting for us outside the door, and he immediately grinned when he saw me. He held his arm out for me to take, which I graciously did, and he escorted me back to the table, Olivia on his other side. Carlisle was nowhere in sight, thankfully, and Aaron hopped up and pulled my seat out for me. Olivia sat next to me, Andrew on my other side, and quickly filled my family in on why I had done what I did. Michelle and Aaron cast me sad, sympathetic glances, and immediately forgave me for disappearing.

Their expressions changed, however, once Olivia got to the part about my resolve, and soon they were grinning. It had taken under five seconds for Olivia to explain, in an extremely quite voice only audible to vampire ears, and we were soon enjoying a pleasant conversation about the 'camping' trip that we would be taking next weekend, yet I still felt nervous and uneasy. "Andrew, take the girl to dance," Olivia directed her husband.

Olivia was the least-jealous wife I have ever seen, especially with me. She knew that our bond was simply brotherly love, and made sure that he could give plenty of attention to me, his little sister, whenever I needed it. Andrew's face brightened up at the thought of dancing, though I knew he would rather be dancing with his wife, but he gladly took me to the dance floor. I stumbled a little bit on the short trip there, but caught myself on the back of someone's chair, and made it to the wooden section of the ballroom unscathed.

"Thanks Andrew," I said as we waltzed around the floor gracefully. I concentrated greatly on exactly what I was doing, and found that I was not half-bad. He spun me around and I giggled. "Recognize anybody here?" I asked him, wondering out loud if he saw anybody from our high school. "Nope," he replied. As we chatted, I slowly lost my concentration on each step I was taking, and when he tried to spin me around again, I caught my heel on his shoe, and went staggering off in the other direction, our grip broken.

An angel caught me, his cool, strong grip on my right hand and lower back were so familiar, so sweet, so careful. His bronze hair shined in the light, and his surprised golden eyes bore into mine. The right side of his perfect lips curled up into a crooked smile, dazzling me immediately. As he spoke, his sweet breath blew in my face, intoxicating me with his unmistakable scent.

"Hello Bella," my Edward whispered.


	4. Sub ch 1 She's Back

**Going Under**

**Sub-chapter: She's Back**

**Edward's POV**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon.**

As I stood in my room in front of my mirror, tying my bowtie in a matter of milliseconds, I wondered what tonight would be like. It's not often that we go to public events, especially involving Carlisle's co-workers. But tonight was a special exception; he had to introduce us to his boss, and also to a new coven of vampires that worked at the hospital.

We lived in Banks, Oregon now. It was odd at first, the town looked almost exactly like Forks; still very rainy, but less 'squishy green stuff'. I smiled as I recalled Bella's description of our old town. It was so painful to recall what I had left behind when we moved to Alaska. Such a fool I was at the time.

Looking back, I see that I never really got it right. I never stopped to think of her, of my Bella, my sweet, sweet Bella. I was always wrapped up in things I could not win, and never will win. She truly was my heroin. Never had I meant to be so cold. What I really had meant to tell her was that I'm sorry. And I had done that so wrong that it disgusted me.

If I could tell her anything right now, even though I knew I never would have that chance, it would be sorry. I would whisper a million sorry's in her ear, breathing in her floral scent. But no, Bella had moved on. She had gotten married, and had a houseful of kids, just as she had always wanted. That is what I kept telling myself, and a small part of me believed it.

I lied to her, I know. I had promised her forever, and had given her two years in return. I had single-handedly destroyed the most important thing to me, and I knew it. Instead of giving her forever, the forever that I would be able to spend with her, I had given myself a forever full of loneliness and guilt.

"Edward, dear, it's time to leave!" Esme's voice floated up the stairs and reached my ears. As if on cue, I exited my room and descended the stairs, taking my time. Alice whizzed past me and joined my parents, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper by the door. My parents and I would be taking my Aston Martin, while Rose, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper would be taking the BMW.

There was no need for small-talk on the drive there, especially for me, since I had nothing to talk about. As we pulled up into the driveway, a flashy limo caught my eye. There were plenty of them here, of course, but for some reason, this one had attracted my attention. Carlisle handed the keys to the valet parking attendant, and we made our way up to the door. Alice and the rest of them joined us within a few seconds.

We were still half a parking lot away when the driver of the limo I had noticed was letting the passengers out. There were five of them; two males, and three females. They were all exceptionally well-dressed, wearing designer clothing. "I love her dress," Alice said excitedly, watching a small-framed girl with beautiful chocolate-brown hair who was wearing a stunning black dress that hugged her perfect frame wonderfully. That hair…

I smirked when I saw her trip going up the stairs. She reminded me so much of somebody that was always on my mind. "Goodness Bella," I heard a male's voice say. _Always tripping_, the same man thought; he found this clearly amusing. _Bella_, I thought, feeling a surge of pain and ecstasy at the same time as her name crossed my thoughts. _It's just a coincidence; there is absolutely no possible way. Stop thinking that way_, the sane part of my brain said. I pressed the issue no further.

My expression must have been quite weird, for I was receiving interesting looks from Alice. "What?" I said, and she mumbled something inaudible and looked away. Upon entering the building, I noticed two things simultaneously.

First, I knew that the family from the limo was a coven of vampires. They were obviously so, to educated people in the subject, such as myself. I knew this simply because the one whose dress Alice liked had stopped and was staring at the dance floor, while the rest of her family walked on. The younger of the two girls had turned around to retrieve the other one, and she was too beautiful to be a human. The only human more beautiful than any vampire would be my Bella. My theory was confirmed when I threw a curious look at Carlisle, who returned it with a nod.

Second, I noticed that it was done up so beautifully inside this place. There was maroon and white linen everywhere and strands of lights put up on the ceiling, giving the room a beautiful glow. Everyone was dressed so nicely, too. It looked more like a wedding than a hospital party.

"Edward, cheer up, son," Carlisle said quietly to me as we were seated at our table. I met his eyes and nodded. So I pretended that this was the reception after our wedding. Bella was my bride, and I was the happiest man on the planet. I was getting so into the daydream that I thought I even smelled her for a moment.

I scanned the room for anything interesting to keep my attention for a while, and noticed that the family of vampires was also being seated; the male that had called one of the girls Bella had just pulled the seat out for her, and was smiling down at her. It wasn't the same kind of smile that Bella and I had shared, but more like the one that Alice and I shared.

"Come on Jasper, I love this song," Alice said, taking Jasper's hand and leading him out to the dance floor. They began to dance gracefully, and they were the only ones out there. _I hope they don't take that for granted_, I thought to myself, watching them twirl, lost in each other's gazes.

The Bella that shared much in common with my Bella was staring at them, too. But there was a different expression on her face than mine. It was cold hard fear. Carlisle had excused himself, and was striding confidently across the room to their family, and was soon shaking hands with the dominant male. He looked no older than thirty, but he still was older than the other male, who was in his late teens or early twenties.

_This is getting interesting,_ I thought as I watched Carlisle and the new family as the leader introduced each member of his coven to my father. He shook their hands and smiled at each of them, but the cycle was broken when the girl staring at my siblings did not answer to her father. "It was my pleasure," Jasper was saying to Alice as they were seated next to me again. Though they were gone, the girl's gaze was not.

She jumped as someone touched her arm, and turned to be introduced to Carlisle. Funnily enough, I could not register his thoughts, or any of their thoughts, no matter how I tried. And the look that Carlisle was sharing with the girl was more than enough for me to wonder what in the hell was going on. I glanced over quickly to see if Alice was watching this, and when I looked back, the girl was gone and Carlisle was coming back to us. His thoughts returned, too, and they were a flurry of emotion. The most prominent, however, were shock, amazement, curiosity, and…relief.

Carlisle caught my eye, and immediately I understood.

My Bella was back.


	5. Resolves

**Going Under**

**Ch. 4 – Resolves**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, or New Moon.**

I was captured, entranced, by the force of his eyes. I couldn't speak, how could I? I let him lead me across the dance floor, every unspoken word filling the silence between us, our eye contact unbroken. "Edward," I whispered. The name felt so weird on my lips, but it felt so right.

Somewhere in the distance, I heard a champagne glass shatter, breaking my trance. "No," I said, and let go of him. He held me firmly, staring into my soul. "Let go of me!" I told him forcefully, squirming to break his grasp. As if on command, he stopped moving and released me, a pained look in his eye. "Forgive me, Isabella Marie Swan. I am so sorry for what I have caused," he started, but I shook my head, and stumbled away from him.

My brain was so fogged; I didn't know what to do. I looked over at my family, and at the broken glass at Olivia's feet. Everyone was staring at me, and had heard Edward's pleading. My patched-up, dead heart was now broken into pieces again. Every memory of us that I have pushed away from my conscience broke through the dam that I had created, and drowned me in sorrow.

As I sprinted out the door at a human pace, I felt his hurt topaz eyes boring into my back. Managing to make it out of sight of the congregation, I ran the rest of the way home at normal-speed and was there within thirty seconds. Wrenching open the front door of my house, I screamed when Andrew materialized before me. "Bella," he said quietly, and gathered me in his arms. I sobbed there, my face buried in my brother's strong chest, for what seemed like ages. He led me inside, and sat me down on the couch. I was surprised, and so was he, to see that the jacket of his tuxedo was soaked with tears.

"You're….crying," Andrew said in disbelief, watching the tears stream down my pale face. It felt so good to cry, to get everything out of my system that haunted me for the last fifty years. Several minutes later, the rest of my family pulled up in the limo. Aaron paid the driver, and they made their way inside the house, their mouths hanging open in shock as they saw my tears.

Guessing how much pain I was in, Michelle hugged me tightly, Olivia tighter, and Aaron pat my back. "I'm so sorry Bella, I had no idea that Dr. Cullen's family was the one you who had hurt you. I was only introduced to him last week," he admitted. I had told my family the truth about what had happened between the Cullen's and me, but I had failed to give them a last name, using only their firsts. "It's alright dad," I said, the first words I was truly able to speak.

Olivia took me upstairs and helped me out of my gown. It felt good to be able to breathe again. I took a long, hot shower, my thoughts still racing. When I was done, I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top. "Hey Bells," Olivia said when I entered her room. "Hey," I replied, and sat next to her on the suede couch in her room. I stared at the ground, and she stared at me for a while.

"He said he was sorry," I said after several minutes of silence. "I know," she replied sadly, and patted my hand. "What are you going to do?" she asked, and her statement was met with silence. What _was _I going to do? We couldn't just up and move…we had just moved here! And if Edward was living in the same town, then we would be going to the same school. "This sucks," I mumbled, and she grinned. Her grin was contagious. "I can't believe he's here," the words formed on my lips subconsciously.

"He could probably say the same about you. Did you see his face?" Olivia said, and then mumbled a 'sorry'. "That was a pretty dumb thing to say," she added in apology. "No, it's alright. And yes, I did see his face. He was so…," I started, but couldn't finish. "Happy?" Olivia finished for me. "Yes," I replied. "He was happy to see me. But why? He told me that he didn't want to hurt me. He lied to me! He obviously doesn't want me anymore. He told me so," I explained to her.

"I think you have a lot to think about," Olivia told me. With a sigh, I got up and left her room. Once to my own, I collapsed on my bed and moved my squishy pillow to under my head. Whenever I was experiencing great amounts of emotion, I was able to sleep. That, plus one night a month. So, as expected, I crashed hard, my periodical dreams filled with the face of an angel.

xXxXxXxXxXx

I awoke to see a bright ray of sunshine shining through my window in my bedroom and spilling on my skin, making it sparkle like a freshly polished diamond. I never quite got used to that element of myself, but I loved it dearly. Climbing out of my bed, I rubbed my sore eyes. That was strange…they felt exactly the same as when I had cried all night long during my human….oh.

The events of last night replayed across my mind again, and I had to grab my bedpost for support. I stayed like that for a long time, making my new resolve. Shakily, I straightened up and made my way over to my closet. Just because I had seen Edward doesn't mean he wants me back. Just because Edward had apologized for all the pain he had ever caused me doesn't mean that he wants me back.

I kept telling myself that as I looked over every piece of clothing in my closet. I finally found something I liked, so I pulled it out and set it on my bed. "Olivia!" I called, stepping into my bathroom. _She always helps me with my makeup whenever I don't want to do it_, I thought to myself. _Plus it looks thirty times better_, I added with a smirk.

"Yes, Bella?" Olivia asked as she entered my room. She had hot rollers in her hair, and a robe around her body. "Help me please. That's what I'm wearing," I said, and pointed to my outfit on the bed. Immediately she understood and began to pull out the necessary types of makeup out of the cabinet in my bathroom, along with a curling iron. She plugged the iron in and got to work quickly.

Within five minutes she was done, and already I looked refreshed. "Thanks so much," I said, giving her a hug. "No problem," she threw casually over her shoulder, and left my room. I pulled my outfit on, and rearranged my hair the way I wanted it, adding a couple extra curls wherever I saw necessary. The end result was not to shabby; I wore a white Bohemia shirt with a lightly cinched neckline and sleeves, embroidered with different types of flowers on the front, a pair of jeans, and some really cute wedge heels I had bought with Olivia a couple of weeks ago. **(A/N: Pic on profile.)**

_He doesn't want you Bella, move on_, I told myself over and over as I picked out some earrings and squirted some perfume on my neck. _He never did. You were a tool, useless. A human_, I repeated. I paced down the hallway several times, getting used to the feel of the tall shoes I wore, and increased the speed until I was running nearly as fast as I could in tennis shoes.

I made my way downstairs, where the rest of my family was congregated, and as usual, tripped on the last step, falling into oblivion for a few milliseconds, before I caught and righted myself on the banister. "All in a day's work," I said to Andrew and Olivia, both watching me intently to see how I would act today. I grabbed my keys and my purse, kissed my parents goodbye, and walked outside.

Though my façade was believably calm, I was squirming uncontrollably on the inside. I was scared senseless, curious, and heartbroken all at once. "He doesn't want you," I said, accidentally out loud. "What?" Olivia and Andrew said in unison, looking at me strangely. "Huh?" I said back, trying to confuse them. They both shook their heads and mumbled something as they climbed into my car.

I drove a Mercedes SL-65 AMG convertible in midnight black. I loved my car; it was my most prized possession. I kept it sparkling clean; there was never a speck of mud on it, anywhere. A cigarette, dog, or any other foul-smelling anything was **not **allowed within ten feet of its vicinity, and muddy or dirty shoes went in a plastic bag in the trunk. Maybe I was a bit obsessive-compulsive about it, but hey, it was mine, wasn't it?

I turned the key in the ignition, and it purred to life. The radio turned on automatically, but right now it was turned to CD. Amy Lee's voice filled the car, her powerful words along with the bands' music made my resolution even more concrete.

Man, I loved this song. I turned the volume up a little bit and sped out of our driveway. We lived almost an hour from the school, going the legal speed limit of fifty-five miles per hour. But, with me in control, we reached the school in fewer than thirty. The force of the acceleration down the empty road pressed my body back against the seat. _He doesn't want you_, I reminded myself as I merged onto the highway.

"What's going through your head, Bella?" Andrew asked, startling me. "What are the chances that they go here?" I asked him, answering his question with a question. "Well, about ninety-nine out of a hundred," he answered truthfully. I sighed and slowed down a little bit. "I sure hope I have a few classes with you guys," I mumbled, and they both agreed with me. "If we don't, then at least we have lunch," Olivia reminded me as I pulled into the school's parking lot. We all piled out of the car, my eyes scanning the parking lot for a certain someone's silver Volvo, but I saw nothing. This gave me hope.

I walked with my siblings to the attendance office to get our schedules. "Good morning," I said sweetly to the grandmotherly figure sitting behind the desk. The look on her face was the exact same as the rest of the world when they saw us for the first time. First amazement, then jealousy, then a smile. "Hello dear, can I have your last name please?" she asked kindly. "Hadrian," I replied, and she shuffled through the stack of papers on her desk until she found the three that belonged to us. "Andrew, Isabella, and Olivia. Such lovely names," she mused, and handed them to us. We all thanked her warmly and exited, comparing our schedules the second we cleared the door.

"Yes! AP English with Olivia, Trig with Andrew, and History with both of you!" I exclaimed. They all slapped me a hi-5 and we made our way to the cafeteria. Upon entering, I scanned the faces for the Cullen's but did not find them. _Excellent_, I thought to myself, ignoring the tiniest feeling of disappointment. We all sat together at a table until the bell rang, signaling first hour, and then we went to our lockers.

"You girls have a good day. See you during second hour Bella," Andrew said, and waved to us. We told him goodbye, and proceeded towards our English class. "Any sign of them?" Olivia asked, and I told her no. "Excellent," she said, my first reaction.

The English teacher was a young man, no older than thirty, and looked like a really fun teacher, had I not already taken this class fifty times. He looked a little too friendly when Olivia and I offered our hand and a big smile; there was nothing wrong with sucking up if we wanted to sit together. "I'm Mr. Walker, it's a pleasure," Mr. Walker said after we gave him our names. "The pleasure is ours," I said, and walked with my sister to the back of the class.

Time seemed to fly by quickly as the day progressed, and it was already time for lunch. No sign of the Cullen's there, either. _Maybe they don't go here after all_, I thought to myself as the tardy bell rang, signaling the beginning of fourth hour. Halfway into the class, however, everything changed.

A big, muscular boy with curly brown hair entered the room, backpack slung across his shoulders, and a tardy slip in his hand. "Sorry about this sir," he said, his deep voice, though quiet, drew everyone else's eyes up to the front of the room. "No problem," the teacher said to him.

"Class, this is Emmett Cullen. He's a bit late today, but I'm sure that is not a reflection of his personality."

_Shit._


	6. Too Late

**Going Under**

**Ch. 5 – Too Late**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon.**

Mr. Stringer sat Emmett Cullen in the back of the class. He was three rows over and two seats back from mine. I don't think he saw or smelled me, since he never looked over in my direction. I carefully moved my hair over my shoulder to shield my face from him.

Before the bell was even finished ringing, I had gathered all of my stuff and was half-way out the door. "Where's the fire, Bella?" Mr. Stringer called after me as I escaped from the confines of the classroom. I mentally cursed him for using my name, since my smell was probably all in the room now because I had left so fast.

Reluctantly, I entered my History class and found a seat where Olivia and Andrew were sitting. Seeing the look on my face, they knew what had happened already. I set my books down on the desk in front of Olivia and sat down. "Which one?" she asked, speaking so low and fast that it was impossible for a human to hear. "Emmett, the one with the muscles," I replied back, speaking the same way she was.

"I could take him," Andrew said with a smirk on his face, leaning back in his seat. I snorted, and Olivia grinned. "What, you don't believe me?" he asked us in a mockingly hurt voice. "Sure Andrew, we believe you," Olivia said, and kissed her husband on the cheek. The bell rang, and we all straightened in our desks.

A bronze-haired boy sat in front of me, his pale skin a lovely contrast to the color of his hair. My breath caught in my throat. Had he seen me? Why else would he have sat there? Silently, I tore a corner off a piece of notebook paper and scribbled something down, then passed it to Olivia quickly. Her head snapped up upon reading it and she looked around my shoulder. _Uh-oh_, was her only reply.

"Now, I know that this is very early in the year," the teacher started, and his eyes roamed over Olivia and me a little longer than the rest of the girls in the class. "But, I thought we should have a project to get to know each other a little better. I will be assigning partners, and you will write constructive essays on whether or not you believe the points that Dan Brown made in The Da Vinci Code," he explained.

_Lovely_, I thought with a roll of my eyes. As the teacher began to call out names, assigning partners already, I went into a mental panic. What if she put Edward and me together? I squeezed my eyes shut and crossed my fingers. "Cullen, Edward and….Hadrian," Mr. Rick said, and my eyes popped open. "Andrew," he added, obviously seeing that there were three Hadrian's in this class.

"Hadrian, Olivia and Smith, Emily. Hadrian, Bella and Train, Chris," he said, and finished up the list. I turned around to talk to Olivia quickly, asking her if Michelle had told her whether or not she and Aaron were going to see a movie tonight. "Not sure, she never said anything to me," Olivia answered with a small shrug. I smiled at her and turned back around in my seat to face the front, and found myself staring Edward in the face.

"Bella," he whispered, his cool breath making my dead heart twitch. "I…h-huh?" I mumbled dumbly, unable to look away from his beautiful eyes. "Please, just hear me out. I know that you'll never understand, and I'm not asking you to forgive me," Edward started, and his words were so sweet, so sincere, and his gaze so full of passion that I couldn't tell him no. Seeing that I was not about to object, he continued. "I never meant to hurt you Bella, I swear to all that is Holy that I never meant to do it. I was trying to keep you away from the one thing that I never wanted you to experience. I wanted you to live a normal, happy life. I wanted to read your marriage announcement in the newspaper, and about the birth of your first child, and your golden anniversary. I couldn't give that to you, do you understand what I am saying?" he asked. His voice was so full of raw sorrow.

"And I can see that no matter what I did, your future was set in stone," Edward added. Apparently that was true; I was sitting in front of him listening to his apology as opposed to rotting in the ground in some family plot back in Forks. "I'm sorry, Bella."

Even if he hadn't meant to at the time, the pain he put me through was worse than anything I had ever felt. Worse than the transformation, even, seeing as my heart never healed. "How can you sit there and say that to me Edward?" I said, too numb for pain at the moment. "Do you have any idea what I went through after you left me? I abandoned Charlie! I shunned Jacob, Mike, and Jessica...everybody! You didn't even tell me goodbye, you left a note sitting on my window sill! If you cared, even one tiny bit, you would have at least told me why you left!" I yelled at him, standing up out of my desk.

My teacher, who had been watching us, unable to look away, along with the rest of the class, watched in amazement as I began to yell after such a heartfelt apology. _Let them think what they will. They have no idea_, I thought to myself as I took a breath to begin speaking again.

"Bella, please," Edward begged. "No. I wasted way too many tears over you over the last several years," I said, being careful with my wording since innocent human ears were listening. "I have bled for you, deceived my entire family for you, wrecked so many relationships that were very important to me, and I'll never, ever, get the time back that I so utterly _wasted_ on you," I hissed, the cruelty of my words leaving me gasping for breath. "You left once, I was naïve enough to believe your sorries and I came crawling back into your arms. Well, not this time babe."

Deciding that this was enough, I gathered my things off my desk, and stalked out of the classroom. Instead of creating the last dramatic effect that I so wanted to achieve, my stupid, stupid shoe caught on Andrew's stupid, stupid backpack and sent me reeling forward, my books flying out of my arms. Edward flung himself out of his desk to catch be, but before I landed in his arms, I caught myself on the back of a desk. "I don't want your hand this time, I'll save myself," I said, picking my stuff off the floor.

"Maybe I'll wake up for once."

xXxXxXxXxXx

I flung my books into the backseat of my car, turned the key in the ignition, and sped out of the parking lot. I could care less if I was being truant. The most important thing to me right now was getting _out_ of this stupid town. I needed someone right now, someone I hadn't needed in a long time.

I drove for a long time on the Interstate, unsure of how long it had been since I had left school. I stared ahead, more numb than ever, and I couldn't believe that I had actually said those things to my perpetual savior. Lost in thought, I watched the sunset over the horizon, and welcomed the darkness.

'Welcome to Forks!' a cheery sign read as I entered my old town. It hadn't changed much, I noticed, still covered in lots of moss and foliage. I drew in a jagged breath as I passed some very familiar sights, and they extracted painful memories from my mind. I drove by the reservation, what was left of it anyway, and my old neighborhood.

What I was about to do may wreck everything that I had worked so hard to establish, but that didn't matter now. I needed Charlie. I needed to apologize to him for choosing Edward over him so many years ago. As I turned onto my old street, I accelerated, anxious to see my dad.

I parked the car along the curb and ran up the front lawn. It was overcast outside, I noticed, as I banged on the door. I was shocked to see a little boy, not a day over eight, answer the door, holding hands with his mother. "Can I help you?" she asked, a kind smile on her face. "I-…who are you?" I asked. She looked a little confused, but recovered quickly. "Oh, I'm Angelique Stanley. We moved in here a few weeks ago when the chief died," she explained, running her hands through her curly hair.

Jessica's granddaughter? I shook my head, and asked her to repeat the last part. "We moved to this house after Chief Swan died, about six weeks ago," she said, probably wondering about my mental capacity. "Died?" I asked in a small voice, and she nodded sadly. I managed to make it back to my car and down the road before the words started to sink in. I was too late.

Charlie was gone.


	7. My Immortal

**Going Under**

**Ch. 6 – My Immortal**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, New Moon, a Mercedes, a house key, a puppy….the list could go on forever. I do, however, have imagination.**

I drove through town, my head spinning. Charlie had died alone, his wife and daughter abandoning him both. I wondered if he spent the last fifty years wondering what he did wrong. I slowed my car to a stop and got out. The sign that I read first upon entering the large wrought-iron gates read 'Forks Cemetery'.

There were so many graves here, the tombstones cracked and crumbling. How would I ever find his? A spot of raw earth caught my eye, and I slowly approached it. The inscription read 'Chief Charlie Swan, loving father, and dedicated policeman'. My pale fingers traced the words, a severe contrast to the dark grey stone.

I sank to my knees, my jeans soaking up the layer of mud that covered where Charlie was buried; the tears began to spill out of my eyes. "Daddy," I whispered, still touching his headstone. "Oh daddy I'm sorry," I said, more loudly this time. "It wasn't your fault, I swear to God it wasn't. It was me, I failed you. Please forgive me Daddy," I sobbed, pressing the heels of my hands to my eyes. There was just so much I wanted to tell Charlie, and I would never, ever get that chance.

I don't know how long I stayed there, crying at my father's grave, but I soon found myself being gathered into strong, familiar arms. They cradled me gently, carefully. "He's gone Edward," I said into his chest, his delicious scent calming me slightly. "I know Bella," was all he said, but the tone of which he used told me that everything was somehow going to be alright.

Edward slid me into the passenger seat of my Mercedes and buckled my seatbelt for me, shut the door, and got into the driver's seat. I didn't care that the mud from my jeans was getting in my beloved car. I don't know why, but even though Edward was the reason why Charlie died alone, I just couldn't tell him to go away.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew, I was being lifted out of the car, my face pressed into his strong chest, and carried into my house. The worried voices that began to bombard my angel as he carried me up the stairs startled me, and he began to talk as I felt the deep rumble of his voice radiating through his chest, soothing me. He said something about Charlie, and they all immediately backed off.

Edward laid me on my bed. I couldn't think straight; the tragedies of today were weighing heavily on my thoughts, and my subconscious called out to him. "Don't go," it said, and I was surprised to hear that I had said this out loud. He turned around and smiled, but I didn't see it because my eyes were already closed. I felt him lie next to me and protect me from the evils of the world as I slept.

xXxXxXxXxXx

I woke up the next morning, my muscles stiff. I arched my back, pushing my hands into the small of my back, and my legs bumped something. I quickly turned my head around and saw Edward lying next to me, the sun spilling from my window as it did every morning, making his skin sparkle. "Good morning," he said with a look of uncertainty on his face.

I was about to ask him what he was doing here, but then I remembered yesterday and my stomach churned. "Is it?" I asked in response to his statement. His brow furrowed momentarily as he pondered what I meant. I quickly got out of bed, standing up and swaying to left a bit before steadying myself. I did not want anything to do with him. _Don't hurt him_, a voice in the back of my head said. _He hurt me_, I reminded it, and it backed off. "You can go home now," I said coldly, surprised at my words. I've had a tendency to surprise myself lately.

Edward nodded, his face carefully arranged into a non-expressive mask, and stood up. He began to make my bed for me. "You don't have to do that," I said, and he stopped immediately. Turning around to look at me, his eyes betrayed that mask he had created. They were filled with hurt, sorrow, and a million unspoken apologies. "Bella," he started. "What," I said, not wanting to start my day off like this. He replied by just shaking his head and leaving my room.

Thinking that he was gone, I stared at myself in the mirror, and never before have I hated myself just as much as I did today. _You hurt him. You don't deserve him, or his apologies_, that voice told me. "I know," I said out loud, my voice breaking as traitor tears streamed down my face. I sighed and wiped them way as I turned around and walked back into my bedroom. I reached for my stereo, clicked the POWER button, and put it on shuffle. My Evanescence CD was in, and ironically, 'My Immortal' began to play.

I sang along with it as I curled into a little ball on my couch, my eyes closed, and I thought it quite weird just how closely it resembled my feelings towards Edward.

_I'm so tired of being here,_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears._

_And if you have to leave,_

_I wish that you would just leave,_

_Cause your presence still lingers here,_

_And it won't leave me alone._

_These wounds won't seem to heal,_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years, and you still have…_

_All of me_

_You used to captivate me _

_By your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice it chased away_

_All the sanity left in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years, _

_And you still have _

_All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me,_

_I've been alone all along_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_I held your hand through all of these years, _

_And you still have _

_All of me_

I sighed when it was over and played it again, not singing along this time. _School's going to be hell_, I thought to myself, my eyes still closed. Even though it was only Tuesday, I was not going to school today. How could I? Edward would be there. _You could go very easily and you know you'd love every minute of it_, my inner-voice said. Grudgingly I agreed with it. I couldn't hate Edward after what he had done to me. He had never meant to hurt me when he left…he was only trying to protect me. I'm still not sure exactly what he was trying to save me from. I was bound to become a vampire some day.

I opened my eyes and stared at my closed door, suddenly wishing that I wasn't alone.I didn't need _him_, but I needed somebody there with me. Carefully, I stood up, turned my stereo off, walked across my room, and opened the door. As if on cue, Olivia rushed out of her room and stood with me. "Hey," she said gently. "Hi," I replied, shifting my weight on the balls of my feet. "He left, didn't he?" I asked, and she nodded. "Yeah, but not after Aaron could 'have a word' with him," Olivia said with a shrug of her shoulders. "About what? What did he say?" I pressed, and we began to walk downstairs. "Oh you know…just why he brought you home unconscious yesterday," she said, waving her hand in the air as if we discussed this every day.

"I'm sorry about that," Olivia added; Edward had obviously told them all about Charlie. "Did he say anything else?" I asked, and she said she didn't know. I made it down the stairs without falling, and Olivia congratulated me. "You're so funny," I said sarcastically. "That's what they tell me," she replied, and walked off to go find Andrew.

"Hey Bells," Aaron said when I entered the living room. "Hey dad," I said, and sat next to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. He put his arm around my shoulders and held me close. "I had a talk with Edward Cullen this morning," he started, and I sighed. "Now before you start to protest, I didn't meddle in your business or anything, I just wanted to know what happened last night. I'm so sorry for your loss Bella," Aaron said, and I told him it was alright. "What else did he say?" I asked, and he shook his head. "That was all I talked with him about. Andrew did have a rather long conversation with him," he added, and I got up off the couch and ran up the stairs to find him.

"Good Lord, how hard is it to get some information around here?" I mumbled to myself as I slammed with my fist on his door. There was a crash on the other side, along with some muffled voices, and Olivia pulled the door open, her hair a mess. I could see Andrew over her shoulder, wearing no shirt.

"Oh," I said, blushing scarlet. "I'll come back later then."

"Oh no, too late now," Olivia said, and pulled me inside the room.

"Sorry about this, but I really need to know what Edward said this morning," I said, trying not to look as Andrew pulled his shirt on.

"Have a seat then," Andrew said, motioning towards the sofa in the corner of his room. I took a seat, and he sat down across from me and pulled Olivia into his lap. "What do you want to know then?"

"How about everything?" I said, but my statement was met with two annoyed looks. "Alright then, who approached who?"

"_I_ approached _him_. I wanted to know what happened. I'm so-," he started, but I cut him off by holding up a hand. "It's fine. What did he _say_?" I pressed. They were really on my nerves now.

"I-well…I think he loves you Bella," Andrew said seriously. I snorted. "That's what he keeps telling me," I remarked, then shook my head. "What else?" I asked.

"If you must know, I basically played therapist for him yesterday. He told me that he's never been the same since he left. He said he left twice before, but he swears it won't be a third time," he said. "That's what he said last time," I muttered. "He told me you'd say that," Andrew commented, looking thoughtful. I shot him a look. "But then he said he was serious and that he hasn't lived since you last told him that you loved him. Fifty years ago," Andrew said in a rush.

"He…he said that?" I asked, not quite believing him.

"Every word," Andrew assured me.

"Is that all he said?" I asked, and he nodded. "Thanks," I added, and left his room.

I walked outside, saw the mud on my car, and shuddered in disgust. I went to go find the very expensive cleaning package that I had bought for my car a couple weeks ago, and got started.

As I scrubbed away the dirt and grime from my once-beautiful car, I could start to see the rejuvenated, shining surface of what it once was. For some reason, it reminded me of myself.


	8. Decisions

**Going Under**

**Ch. 7 – Decisions**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. And if I did, I would not be writing fanfics on this website, I would be working on getting the third installment of the series published.**

If I couldn't live with myself before, I sure the hell couldn't live with myself now. Edward had poured his soul straight out to Andrew, and he never, ever did that with anybody before. He didn't even get that intimate with his family. And Andrew was a complete stranger to him! He must be really torn up inside. _He loves you_, I thought. Just thinking those simple words nearly brought tears to my eyes.

I honestly didn't understand why Edward left me if he loved me still. There were so many questions I wanted to ask him, but it was torture just to be in the same room with him, let alone speak with him. I finished cleaning my car by the time the day was over. The sun was barely visible on the horizon. Twilight. His favorite time of day. I shuddered at the thought of that tender moment we had spent at the prom together. I was so certain he was going to change me that day that I had even thought to pack a bottle of Aspirin in my purse, hoping it might dull the pain.

Well, I was wrong on both counts. Aspirin _definitely_ doesn't help with the pain of the transformation, (I had tried that) and Edward certainly had not changed me that night. We used to get into such terrible arguments about that subject, and I guess it was my fault that he left. If I hadn't kept nagging him about it…

I shook my head and gathered my thoughts as I put away the different chemicals that I had used on my car and went inside. A few minutes later, I was stepping into a very hot shower. Even though I didn't technically _need_ one as a vampire, I still loved them. They were just so relaxing…

The scent of my strawberry shampoo that I continued to use through the years invigorated my senses and 'woke me up' from the daze my tangled thoughts had put me in. When I was done, I wrapped my fluffy yellow bathrobe around my body, tied the sash tightly, and stared at my face in the mirror. I looked so tired even though I wasn't. I touched the dark purple circles under my eyes, and they felt the same as the rest of my skin. My hand traveled down to my neck and I traced the half-moon scar that Victoria had given me half a century ago.

I was so lucky that the worst she had done was bit me. If the Hadrian's hadn't saved me, I'd be dead right now. Victoria had cornered me in the forest back in Forks. After Edward left for the last time, I became just short of suicidal and broke my promise to him. I went into the woods alone; just look at what I got out of it. An eternity of loneliness and a dead, broken heart that had been patched up two too many times.

A knock at the door startled me back into reality, and I stepped out of my bathroom. "Come in," I said, and Olivia entered my room. "Hey, are you going to school tomorrow?" she asked me, and I nodded wearily. "Yeah…I guess so," I said reluctantly. "Good! Because if you weren't, I was going to drag you there anyway," Olivia said with a small shrug and a smile. "Sure you were," I said to her, patting her shoulder with a mocking smile on her face. She playfully slapped my hand away and walked over to my window, staring out at the moon rising in the sky.

"What are you wearing tomorrow?" I asked my sister. "Those new jeans I got at Neiman Marcus," Olivia replied, still staring up at the moon. "Which ones? You only got like, fifty pairs," I said, opening my closet door. "I got four pairs, thank you very much, and the ones with the holes in the knees," she said, turning around now. I flipped through the clothes in my closet, finding nothing appropriate to wear tomorrow. "Ooh! Wear that one!" Olivia exclaimed, grabbing a hanger off the rack and holding it up to me.

"Why would I want to wear a dress tomorrow?" I complained as she picked out a pair of shoes. "Oh come on. Please?" Olivia begged, pushing out her lower lip and making a very adorable face. "Oh…fine," I grudgingly agreed with a sigh, and she grinned victoriously. She had chosen a very plain white sundress and white beaded heeled flip flops.

Olivia seemed to take on a more serious air as I laid my outfit out for tomorrow and stared at it nervously. "What are you going to do?" she asked, bringing Edward up much to my dismay. "Why does everybody keep asking me that?" I said in annoyance, shaking my wet hair out of the towel I had wrapped it in. "Because we're _curious_ Bella," Olivia reminded me. "Plus, what else do we have to talk about around here?" she added. "I don't know what I'm going to do yet. I'm tired of thinking about it, to tell you the truth," I admitted.

"Well, if it helps any…," Olivia said, trailing off and putting a nice, juicy worm out there for me to grab. I took the bait. "What?" I asked, and she smiled. "Andrew left something out," she added, and I looked confused. "Edward said something else before he left. He said…," she started, but stopped, staring at me with a glint in her eye. "Spit it out right now, Olivia Elizabeth Hadrian, or I will slap you!" I threatened, holding my hand up to show her that I was not kidding. "Okay, okay! He said that he was very glad that you didn't end up marrying Mike Newton. Or having his kids," Olivia said, looking thoughtful at the last sentence.

I stood there, dumbfounded, my expression blank, before the full impact of what he had said hit me. "HA!" I exclaimed loudly. This made me laugh so hard, so relentlessly hard, that I could not catch my breath. Tears were streaming down my face, which was now turning a pleasant shade of purple. I clutched my sides and sank to my knees, and Olivia stared at me like she had just missed something very important. "I-I can't believe he said that after all of this!" I managed to choke out before another wave of laughter overtook me.

Once my laughter had been reduced to innocent giggles and I was now able to breathe normally again, I sat up and wiped my face. "Mike Newton," I repeated, shaking my head as I grabbed my bedpost to help support me as I stood up. "Why do I suddenly feel very stupid?" Olivia asked me, and I shrugged. "Well, bye," she said nervously, and left me alone in my room.

This innocent statement that Edward had made that I was never intended to hear was the most significant act and show of character that Edward had made since he showed up here in Banks, Oregon.

Right then and there, in that very second in time, I made my mind up about Edward Cullen. What the results would be, I have _absolutely_ no idea.


	9. Sub ch 2 Visions

**Going Under**

**Sub. Ch. 2 – Visions**

**The Cullen's POV**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, just in case you needed a reminder.**

**Edward**

I felt like an idiot after telling Andrew and Olivia my feelings on the subject of getting Bella back. They were very nice and understanding and I just felt like I could open up to them. _I hope they don't tell Bella any of it_. I recalled what they told me, and scene flashed back into my memory.

"_Just keep trying, don't give up. Bella has a very…weak resolve," Andrew said, and Olivia nodded in agreement._

I often wondered why they would tell me this. Wouldn't they be on Bella's side instead of mine? The things she told them about me must have been horrible, even if they were true. So why would they help me? With a sigh, I stood up off the ground in my backyard and brushed the back of my jeans off.

I could see Alice peeking at me from behind the curtains in the house, and as soon as we made eye contact, she would disappear. She had been acting peculiar lately and it was beginning to make me nervous. I trudged inside through the back door. Our house looked exactly the same as our last home back in Forks, but Esme had painted the walls a light blue instead of white.

"Alice!" I yelled, entering the living room. There she was, reading a book on the couch in Jasper's lap. "Yes?" she asked, feigning innocence. "Why were you watching me outside?" I pressed, seeking entrance into her thoughts. I wasn't surprised to see that she had them very securely blocked. "No reason," she replied simply, flipping the page. "Alice, stop lying and tell the truth! What's going on?" I interrogated rather loudly, and Jasper growled. "Back off Edward, I'm sure it's no big deal," he said angrily.

I gave up and made my way to my room, slamming the door behind me.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Alice**

I had been checking on Edward for the past several hours as he lie out in the backyard, staring at the sky, just to make sure he didn't do anything rash. Bella had turned him down rather forcefully last time he had tried to apologize and get her back, and I couldn't blame her. He was an ass for leaving her, let alone dragging the rest of us with him. He didn't even stick around with us once he left though; he disappeared to Canada for a while, and the rest of us went to Alaska to spend time with Tanya's coven.

Edward sure got nervous and angry easily ever since he ran into Bella at school. I, of course, knew she was going to be there. I had seen it in a vision, but I didn't tell Edward. I figured he could use some excitement in his days. I also saw that Bella would not listen to him, but I saw it too late. If I had seen that in time, I would have warned him about it.

I had been seeing visions all day today. I was very surprised by them, and I loved the outcome, which is why I wanted Edward exactly where I saw him in each of my visions. After he had interrogated me in the living room and stormed off to his room, I turned to Jasper, whose lap I was sitting in. "Everything is as planned. It's almost time," I told him, and he smiled down at me. "Excellent," he replied.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

**Edward**

"Come on Edward, it's time to go to school!" Alice crooned in her musical voice, startling me out of my trance. Her voice seemed so happy today. I must say that my mood has improved greatly; I would get to see Bella today. I just had to wait until fifth hour. I dressed in a pair of distressed jeans and a light blue Polo shirt. Alice had bought me these jeans. I still don't understand why you would want to buy clothing that already looked worn-out, but she assured me that it was worth the extra money.

I walked out of my room and down the stairs, grabbing my jacket off the coat rack by the door and stood there, keys in hand, waiting for the rest of them. As they filed out the door and got into my car, I caught Alice lightly by the wrist. "What's going on Alice?" I asked gently, one last time. She looked up at me, her face radiant, and said the most beautiful words I have heard in a long, long time.

"You're getting Bella back today."

**(A/N: Hello everybody! Thanks so much for the luffly reviews I have been getting! I'm going to have a party when I get to 50! w00t!**

**Anyway, I got this very nice, criticizing review that I absolutely fell in love with!**

This is pretty good! Hm, not to shabby, m'dear. Although I died a thousands deaths everytime Bella cried or tripped because it is just NOT possible and she should be a little more graceful than that. Sheesh, give the poor girl a break! Hahahaha. Ah, but it's your story and you can do as you please, I'm just making sure you know that those facts make the story more so on the original side. Also, Bella wouldn't have any scars if she were a vampire. Once someone is turned, all scars and blemishes completely vanish. This includes, scars from injuries/surgeries, freckles, moles, beauty marks, acne and just about anything else you can think of. Ah well, that's it. Haha. Now you can mumble to yourself about stupid reviewers who sound like they're trying to change your story.

(WHICH I'M NOT BY THE WAY!:D) Heh, okay, I'm done. LOL.

**Thank you BalancingConfessions for this little jewel, and now I shall explain!**

**I admit that I forgot about the scar thing, so Bella does not have any representation of being bitten, except for the obvious. **

**About the rather humanoid things that dear Bella has been doing, such as crying, tripping, and sleeping…well, in MY story, Bella had retained a few of her human qualities because she's just so human in the Twilight/New Moon books!**

**Now I know that this is not plausible in any way, but hey, it's my story as BalancingConfessions reminded me. :-P**

**I hope you all enjoyed the chapter as much as I did for writing it!)**


	10. Dazzled

**Going Under**

**Ch. 8 – Dazzled**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. **

I was _so_ nervous as I got ready that day for school. If my heart could beat, it would be out of control. If I could sweat, my hands would be dripping. The butterflies swam in my stomach and made me jumpy. After a while, I took a couple deep breaths and calmed myself down. My hands were shaking so badly that I had to!

I quickly stripped off my sweats and tank top, and reached for the sundress. It cascaded down my body, hugging my feminine curves beautifully, and ended in a graceful manner just below my knees. It created a striking contrast between my pale skin, bright gold eyes, and dark brown hair. I plugged my curling iron in and got to work on my makeup.

Since the Cullen's left and I had met Olivia Hadrian, she had perfected my beauty skills. For years she trained me on what colors are perfect for each other and what colors are not, what hairstyles were appropriate for what occasion, and just how much eyeliner my eyes really needed.

I put a very thin layer of powdery white eye shadow on my top eyelids and a little bit beneath my lower eyelashes. It was subtly sparkly. **(A/N: Tongue Twister)** I brushed on some mascara and a little bit of brown eyeliner. As a vampire I really didn't need makeup, but it made me feel prettier. I was still a bit unsure of myself.

After curling the ends of my hair, I poked a pair of crystal drop earrings in my ears and slipped my feet into my sandals. Realizing that I didn't have a white purse, I opened my bedroom door and walked to Olivia's room. Before I could raise my hand to knock, however, she opened the door and handed me a small, white Chanel leather purse.

"Thanks!" I said brightly.

"No problem," she Olivia replied. "You look fabulous today," she added.

"So do you," I commented, taking in her black skirt, boots, and matching sweater.

"Is Andrew ready to go?" I asked, and he emerged from behind his wife, wearing jeans and a light yellow Polo shirt.

"Excellent," I said, and we walked downstairs.

"Bye Aaron, bye Michelle!" Andrew called as he shut the front door and locked it.

"Why are you two so dressed up today?" he asked suspiciously, opening the door of my sparkling Mercedes.

"Why are you not?" Olivia replied, a slight smile playing on her lips. He looked confused for a moment, and Olivia and I laughed as she closed her door.

I put the key in the ignition, turned it, and my car revved quietly to life. Pulling out of the driveway, I saw Aaron in the upstairs window waving goodbye to us. I waved back, and sped down the street. My thoughts raced as we neared the school. _Would he even be here today? Am I making the wrong decision? What if he never wants to see me again?_ They created a twister of over-thinking-ness that crashed through my calm façade and almost made me panic.

"Bella, just calm down!" Olivia said soothingly, patting my arm. I must have jumped a foot in the air, because she looked at me weirdly.

"Don't mind me, I'm fine," I told her reassuringly, but she just shook her head and kept watching me.

I found a good parking space and slid into it effortlessly. As I pulled the key from the ignition and opened the door, I took one last deep breath and willed myself to keep my head today. Andrew and Olivia were waiting for me patiently at the hood of my car as I got out, very slowly, and shut the door. Andrew put his arm out for me to take, and I took it politely. He offered his other to Olivia, and escorted us from the parking lot.

He opened the door for us and we entered the school together. It was a small school, like the one at Forks, but almost all the buildings were connected, so you didn't have to walk outside as much when you switched classes. The custodians had hung Christmas lights in the cafeteria, and erected a large Christmas tree, covered in garland, lights, and silver and gold ornaments. At the top sat an angel with frizzy blonde hair.

If I were human, I would not have noticed this very odd feature about the angel; she had no head.

"Olivia, is that angel headless?" I asked in astonishment.

She burst out laughing, a musical sound, and pointed this out to Andrew. I laughed at his reaction; his face was very docile and he looked almost mournful. Olivia and I stood in front of the large Christmas tree gasping for breath as we laughed about the headless angel, holding onto the arms of our brother, as he watched us with a weird look on his face.

I realized that there were people watching us, so we kept walking towards our lockers.

"Someone stuffed ribbon in her dress to make it look like a head," I said to Olivia, and she started to laugh again.

"Bye Freaks," Andrew said, and turned into his classroom.

Since Olivia and I had English together, our lockers were right next to each others'. We retrieved our books and our binders, and then made our way to class. Taking seats next to each other, we continued to chat about Andrew's reaction, releasing a chuckle every now and then, until the bell rang. I noticed Emmett was staring at me from across the aisle, and remembered suddenly that he had this class with me. I managed to send him a timid smile, and he returned it. The lecture began immediately after our brief exchange, and class seemed to go by ever so slowly.

After what seemed like hours, the bell rang and the class rose to their feet, exiting the small room. I gathered my books and Olivia and I made our way out of the class, but I stopped suddenly and turned around. Emmett was right behind me.

"Wow Bella, you're the last person I'd expect to see here," he said in his husky voice. It felt so normal to be talking to him that it almost scared me.

"Hey Emmett, I could say the same about you," I replied.

He pulled me into a bear hug. "It's good to have you back," he said when he released me. I grinned when he said that and turned to face Olivia.

"Emmett, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is Emmett," I said, introducing them. They shook hands and said 'hello', and Emmett ruffled my hair as he left us to go to his next class.

"That was…weird," I said as Olivia and I left.

"He's nice though," she commented, and I nodded in agreement.

The rest of the morning passed in the same slowness, and finally it was time for lunch. I wondered if any of the Cullen's had this lunch hour. I set my books in my locker and closed it in one fluid, graceful movement, earning myself looks of admiration from the other girls in the hall. It was easier to pretend that I hadn't seen them look at me.

I joined Andrew half-way down the hall, and he offered me his arm again. Andrew was changed during the seventeen-hundreds; he had loads of respect for women. "Olivia got a table, she's saving us seats," he told me. "Good; I don't feel like sitting with the humans today," I said quietly, and he chuckled.

We were in the cafeteria now, walking towards Olivia.

"Hey!" she said happily as I released Andrew's arm and he pulled my seat out for me.

"Thanks," I said, and was replied with a 'no problem' back from him.

"Any more sightings?" Olivia asked me excitedly as I crossed my legs and set my hands on the table.

"Nope," I replied, and she bit her lip, looking thoughtful.

"I am so tired of writing essays over the same book in English, I'm just going to copy the essay I used in my senior year several years ago," I said to make conversation, as if we discussed this kind of thing every day. Which we did.

"Isabella Marie Swan Hadrian! That is cheating and I will not have it!" Olivia exclaimed.

"It's still an original essay that I wrote! They never said it had to be a 'new' essay," I reasoned with her, and she backed down a bit.

Olivia opened her mouth to protest again, but she stopped suddenly. Before I could think about what had happened, a hand touched my arm.

"Mind if I sit with you today?" Emmett asked politely as I looked up at him.

"Sure!" I said, motioning towards the seat next to Andrew.

"Hey man," Andrew said, shaking Emmett's hand. They apparently knew each other.

"Have you two met?" I asked in surprise.

"Oh sure, Emmett's in my biology class," Andrew said as Emmett sat.

All three of us began to have a perfectly normal conversation about the headless angel. Olivia and I still found it quite hilarious, as did Emmett, and we all laughed. Andrew looked confused, as if he couldn't understand what was so funny about it.

A thin, blonde vampire appeared at Emmett's side; Jasper.

"Hey Bella, good to see you again," he said simply, and took the seat next to his brother.

"Hi Jasper, you too," I said, slightly astounded.

My cheeks were the tiniest, faintest shade of pink from laughing. I introduced him to Andrew and Olivia, and he jumped right in to our conversation. He was so much more outspoken and friendly than he used to be. I heard a squeal from behind me and Jasper's face lit up.

"Incoming," he said simply, and I stood up quickly.

There was a flash of inky black hair, and Alice Cullen barreled into me, hugging me furiously and exclaiming how much she missed seeing me. I hugged her back, grinning, and listened to her talk. After several minutes, I wasn't sure she was ever going to release me.

"Alice, let the poor girl go," came a voice, soft as velvet, from behind me; I stiffened.

Alice giggled and did as she was told. Quickly I smoothed the wrinkles from my dress and looked up Edward. It was a good thing _this_ angel's head was not broken. We gazed into each other's eyes for a moment, and I wondered how I could have told this man to leave me alone several days ago.

"Hi," I breathed, all that I could manage.

"Bella," he said formally.

"D-do you want to sit with us? I mean…if you're not sitting somewhere else that is," I asked, fumbling over my words.

Edward smiled his boyish, crooked grin and dazzled me immediately. "I would be honored," he said, and took the seat next to me. I reached behind me to feel for my chair, never taking my eyes off of him, and managed to find it and sit safely down. It was then that I realized that everyone's eyes were upon me.

My cheeks turned that faint shade of pink again, and I cleared my throat. "Where did you get those shoes?!" Olivia exclaimed as she saw Alice's shoes. That was all it took for them to become deeply immersed in conversation about the latest fashion news. Andrew, Emmett, and Jasper were all discussing football. This left me and Edward to awkwardly sit by each other, not sure what to do or say. We made eye contact once or twice, but looked away immediately, hiding smiles.

"Bella," Edward said finally, and I looked over at him, relieved that he made the first attempt at a conversation. This was all it took to get me started. "I want to apologize for what I said the other day. And thank you for bringing me home," I said all in a rush. He chuckled darkly. "You're not the one that needs to apologize. I left when I never should have. _I_ want to apologize for breaking my word and causing you pain," he said, his eye suddenly turning dark.

"I forgive you Edward," I said, and he looked absolutely shocked. I smiled shyly and he grinned. I glanced at the rest of the table, and they were all watching us. As soon as I looked them over, they all returned to their conversations immediately.

The bell rang and I stood up, slinging my purse over my shoulder gently. I told the Cullen's goodbye, along with Andrew and Olivia, and walked away. I was not surprised that Edward was by my side the whole time.

"Bella," he said, and I looked over at my perpetual savior.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Alice, Emmett, Jasper and I are going to the mall tonight. Would you like to join us? Andrew and Olivia are more than welcome to come too," Edward offered.

This was my chance. My entire _future_ depended heavily on the next sentence that escaped my lips.

"Edward, we'd love to."

He smiled sweetly, excitement glinting in his eyes. "I can pick you up around five. Is that alright?" he asked, and I nodded. "That'd be great," I reassured him.

"Excellent. I'll see you in fifth hour," Edward said. He gently picked up my hand, on which he placed a single kiss.

Dazzled into unresponsiveness, I watched him smile again and turn around to leave.

"Oh, and Bella?" Edward added, turning around so that he could see me again. "You look absolutely beautiful today," he said, and took his leave.


	11. Together

**Going Under**

**Ch. 9 – Together**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. Never have, never will.**

As I glided gracefully though the door to my next class and slid effortlessly into my desk, my mind was not here. It was with Edward. _You look absolutely beautiful today_. His words rang in my head over and over. I sighed happily and daydreamed through class. My teacher had called on me three times to answer the question being asked, and the kid behind me had to poke me in the back with a pencil before I registered what was happening.

"Miss Hadrian, I shall ask you again. What does the oxidation number of an element represent?" he asked, annoyed.

Deciding I could probably get away with whatever I said next, I made my golden eyes smolder and my arranged my features into a very apologetic expression.

"Forgive me for my lack of attentiveness, Mr. Aidan," I said sincerely. "The oxidation number of a given element would represent the number of electrons gained or lost during a chemical bond," I rattled off, and the look of appreciation I received went just a little bit beyond the fact that I answered the question perfectly.

"T-that's correct Miss Hadrian. Don't let it happen again," Mr. Aidan managed with a wink of his eye.

_What a schmuck! _I thought to myself, and smiled sweetly at him.

When the bell rang, I quickly exited the classroom. I had next hour with Edward and I would not waste a second of it if I could help it. As I entered my history class, Andrew and Olivia were already seated in their usual spots. Andrew was across the aisle from Olivia in the back of the class, and I sat in front of Olivia.

I sat down quickly, and Olivia gave me a very odd look. I wondered what facial expression I was using.

"Uh…why are you smiling like that Bella?" Olivia asked, and then apparently she remembered.

My reason for giddiness walked past me in that second, locking our eyes as he sat in front of me.

"Hello," Edward said simply, smiling his boyish grin.

My heart melted. "Hi," I said; my voice sounded alluring even though I had never intended it to.

"Are we still on for tonight?" he asked me; I could just see the hint of uncertainty in his topaz eyes.

"Of course," I reassured him.

He smiled just as the bell rang, and turned around in his seat.

"I need you to pass up your creative essays that I assigned on the first day of school please," the teacher asked, and I cursed inwardly.

I had completely forgotten about the essay! I turned quickly to my partner to ask him if he wrote his share and noticed that he had two papers on his desk; one was mine, and one was his. He was also staring at me with an odd look in his eye.

"Thanks so much for writing my half. I owe you big time," I said to him in a plain tone of voice. Even though I used absolutely no emphasis, he still acted as if I just gave him a new car.

"It was my absolute pleasure, Bella," he said in an unpleasant, nasal voice.

_He knows my name? I've been in class one time!_ I thought to myself.

"I never got your name…," I said, and he answered immediately.

"Bob. Call me Bob," Bob said, and I smiled and turned around in my seat. As soon as I looked away from him I sighed and rolled my eyes. There was always one…

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

As I stood in my room tugging my clothes on, Olivia paced in front of my window, gabbling on and on about how adorable Edward (Eddy to her) and I looked together, how much she loved Alice, and how much fun we were going to have tonight. I never really replied; I was too preoccupied with getting the shirt on right. It was maroon, and the sleeves hung loosely off the tops of my pale shoulders. There were two small straps of fabric that came out of the neckline and tied around my neck.

"Olivia," I said, but apparently she didn't hear me.

"I mean, you both just look so absolutely in love! He looks at you like you are about to disappear any second. It's just so-" she continued.

"Olivia!" I tried again, a bit louder this time. I was completely tangled up in the shirt and I wasn't going anywhere.

"-_cute_! Come on, he told you looked beautiful today! Andrew tells me that all the time, but it just sounded so sweet coming from him! He is completely obsessed with you Bella. You must have been one good-looking human. Or good-smelling I guess," she kept on, gushing all this in one breath.

"OLIVIA! SHUT UP AND HELP ME!" I yelled, and her head snapped up as she watched me struggle.

"Sorry!" she exclaimed as she rushed over, a grin on her face, and helped me put the shirt right.

"Geez, stupid thing!" I exclaimed as I finally got it to fight right on my body. I tied the strap in less than a millisecond, and had my denim Capri's on in under five seconds.

"Thanks though, sorry I yelled," I apologized as I jammed my feet into my black flats.

She waved her hand as if it was nothing, and then disappeared to her room for a while. I knew she was changing her clothes and I looked myself over in the mirror once more.

I was so excited to finally be together with Edward again.

It was 4:58; they would be here in two minutes.

I walked down the hall and into Olivia's room. "Two minutes!" I said, and she basically freaked out in excitement as she arranged her belt to fall around her hips in a naturally crooked fashion. Andrew emerged from the closet, his shoes untied. He sat down to tie them quickly, and then we all walked downstairs.

There was a knock at the door. Olivia rushed forward to get it, but I grabbed her wrist and pointed to the stairs, where she and Andrew ran up quickly. I smoothed my shirt out and walked towards the door. My hand hesitated about the doorknob, but finally they made contact and I opened the door.

Edward stood there in a pair of distressed jeans, brown squared dress shoes, and a white button up Polo shirt. Before I could let a drip of venom-enhanced drool to roll down my chin, I quickly smiled and moved aside to let him inside. He stared at me for a second, and then realized that I was inviting him inside and snapped out of his trance.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey. You look nice," Edward replied.

"Thanks so do you," I replied. He had no idea how hard it was to stand there and have a perfectly normal conversation without throwing my arms around him, which I managed to resist somehow.

Andrew and Olivia loped down the stairs in graceful nonchalance and said hi to Edward. "Ready to go?" he asked me, and I nodded. Aaron and Michelle were out to a movie; no need to tell them where we were going.

We made our way outside, and I shut and locked the door to our house. I noticed that the car, a pitch black Chevy Suburban, was lightly rocking back and forth. I threw Edward a curious glance, and he shrugged at me. Bravely, I reached out and opened the door. Alice was bouncing up and down in her seat with excitement, shaking the car.

She squeezed the breath out of me as soon as she saw me. "Bella!" she exclaimed as she threw her arms around me. I returned the hug, though not as rib-crushing, and smiled. "Hey Alice. Good to see you too," I said, smiling. She released me and hugged Olivia, and immediately they began to talk about clothes again.

Andrew joined Emmett and Jasper, who were in the third and final row of seats in the car, and they were going on about something, but I wasn't listening. I slid into the front seat, and Edward shut the door for me. By the time I buckled my seatbelt, he was seated and pulling out of the driveway.

We sat in awkward silence in the front seat, unsure of what to talk about; again.

"So…," I volunteered.

"So," he replied, glancing over at me as he turned onto the highway.

"Where are you living now?" I asked, and he increased the speed of the vehicle.

"Down by the Vernonia State Trail," Edward said, and I nodded.

I had no idea where that was.

"Is that far from here?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Not when you drive like us," he said, and winked playfully.

I grinned back at him as we pulled into the parking lot of the mall. It was crowded; I could already pick out several of the faces that I saw at school. Edward seemed to be frustrated about something; his brow was furrowed in concentration. I guessed he was trying not to hit anybody. As we slid into a parking space, Edward's expression lifted and he got out of the car. I undid my seatbelt and was about to open the door, but he beat me to it.

"Thank you," I said, and he nodded back at me, closing the door behind me. He opened Olivia's door next, and they all slid out. Immediately, Jasper took Alice's hand and Andrew took Olivia's hand. Pretending not to notice them, I kept walking next to Edward, a safe eight inches between us.

Entering the mall, I realized that I wanted to get everybody into a store, and get me and Edward alone. I really wanted to talk about what he had done since he left. It would not sadden me, I was simply curious. Olivia and Alice were gone the second we passed the Versace store. Andrew, Emmett, and Jasper were attracted immediately into a RadioShack where there was a 75" plasma screen viewing a football game.

I looked up at Edward, who was looking down at me, and smiled. As we walked, we attracted many eyes; they followed us until their necks would snap with the effort they put into staring, and then turned back the way they were walking and continued with whatever they were doing before they saw us.

It felt so surreal to be here with Edward, at a shopping mall of all places. I looked up again stealthily to make sure that this was not all just a very cruel dream, and his facial expression shocked me. He was concentrating extremely hard on something; his face was contorted into a beautiful arrangement of despair and desperation.

"What's wrong?" I asked, alarmed.

"I can't read anybody's minds," Edward said quietly, looking down at me with pained eyes.

"Oh, sorry!" I said quickly, and his face changed again to relief as I let down my shield.

"Why are you saying sorry?" he asked, feeling more comfortable with his sixth sense back again.

"Well, that's my power. Vampires' special abilities do not affect me. I can also put up a kind of shield around anybody in close range of me, and it's kind of a knee-jerk reaction whenever we're in public," I explained; the look on his face was priceless.

"Bella, we have a lot to talk about," Edward said.

"Indeed we do. Let's find a place to sit," I offered, and he nodded in agreement.

As we walked around the huge mall, trying to find a bench that wasn't taken, we had subconsciously gotten a little closer to each other. His hand accidentally brushed mine, sending electric shocks up my arm. He looked down at me, and our fingers intertwined together. It felt unbelievably good to be able to touch him again.

Finally we found several loveseats pushed together in a cozy arrangement on a section of carpet in the middle of the mall. Edward led me to them, and we sat down next to each other, very closely I might add. Without letting go of his hand, I asked him, "What do you want to talk about?"

His answering smile was beautiful. "What happened after…well, after I left?" he asked, his smile fading quickly.

"Ah," I said. I knew that we would have to talk about this sometime if we were going to give 'us' another try, and I suppose with Edward it was sooner rather than later.

"Well, you left and I basically shut down. I hardly spoke with Charlie, never said another word to Mike, Angela, Jessica. Jacob came over sometimes but he stopped after a few weeks. I finished high school, and when I left I didn't have a single friend. I didn't realize it at the time because I never really paid any attention to anybody else," I began, looking at our hands as I spoke.

"I went off to college, WSU, and in the middle of the first semester, I was changed. I was in my dorm, and I had just gotten out of the shower. I had the window open earlier because my roommate had burned something in the oven and nearly caught the kitchen on fire. I guess the vampire got in that way, because I sure as hell didn't let him in. I have no clue whom it could have possibly been though. My roommate had gone home for the holidays, so I underwent the transformation alone. I knew that I couldn't scream out because somebody would hear me and the secret would have been revealed," I said, and finally looked up at him.

"Bella," Edward whispered; that same tortured expression in his eyes nearly tore my heart to shreds.

"It's alright. What's done is done Edward, we can't change it," I told him, and patted his hand with my other free one.

"After the transformation was complete, I fled the college. I went down to Colorado, and that's where I met the Hadrian's. They saved me. I was so lonely; I hadn't talked to anybody in ten years. They were the nicest people and they were so sincere. They took me in, and I've been with their coven ever since; a little over forty years. Anyway, we stayed in Colorado for a while, and then we went to Alaska, Quebec, and New England. We just moved here about two years ago; I started school as a junior and now, as you know, we're in senior year," I finished, and stole another glance up at him.

"What are the others' powers?" Edward asked.

"Michelle is extremely persuasive; she gets her way every time. Olivia is telekinetic; she can summon any object within about a mile radius. Andrew can control the weather, and it can get really bad when he gets really angry about something. He's practiced really hard, so Mother Nature controls most of everything. Very strong or powerful emotions are really what influences the forecast, and he's very laidback so it's alright most of the time. Aaron can take anyone back into someone's memory, and as you know, I have the power to block vampire abilities," I explained to him.

"That's so interesting!" Edward said honestly, taking it all in as if his life depended upon it.

"Yeah, what about you? Where've you been?" I asked.

"Well, when we left we relocated to Alaska and spent some time with Tanya's family. We stayed there for a very, very long time. Jasper is just as good about resisting human blood as Rosalie or I, and we converted several other covens into 'vegetarians' whilst we were there," Edward explained.

"We then moved here about a month ago and started school when you did," he finished.

"You were in Denali for almost half a century?" I asked in amazement, and he nodded.

"None of you went to school? Carlisle did not work?" I questioned.

"We didn't go to school since Denali is so remote, and Carlisle worked in a very small hospital for several years, but then quit. We were going to relocate and say that he was offered a position elsewhere, but he knew that Jasper desperately needed the training, so we stayed put."

"Where is Rosalie?" I asked suddenly, remembering her.

"Rosalie joined the foreign exchange program at school. She's enrolled in Banks High School, but they shipped her off to China to attend classes there," he said with a casual shrug.

"Wow. Poor Emmett!" I said, and he nodded.

"I know. Luckily, she comes back in a few more weeks," he added.

As he said this, the others approached us and we looked up at them. We had apparently lost track of time as we were talking; there were only several stragglers left behind, including us, and the custodians were mopping the floors.

Olivia looked hyper, Alice looked ecstatic to see Edward and me holding hands. Emmett and Jasper looked slightly annoyed, and were talking in disappointed tones to each other; apparently the New England Patriots had lost the football game. Olivia had ten shopping bags, and Alice had twelve. "Oh Bella, I found you the most _adorable_ skirt!" Olivia gushed, and I couldn't help but grin.

"Thanks 'Liv," I said, and she nodded eagerly.

Edward stood up and I followed suite. Our hands were still locked together, and I expected them to stay that way for a while. As we left the mall, we stayed silent, simply enjoying each others' presence. The ride home was too short and nothing interesting happened.

When we pulled up into our driveway, I noticed that Aaron's blue Camry was sitting in front of the house and several lights were on inside the house. Olivia and Andrew bailed out, both saying goodbye to their friends. After they were inside the house, Edward walked me up to the door.

"Thanks for taking me out tonight, I had fun," I said.

His eyes lit up as I spoke, and he smiled. "I'm glad. I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked, and I nodded.

"Sit with us again at lunch tomorrow," I offered, and he told me he would.

We looked into each others' eyes for a while, and then apparently he remembered that his siblings were waiting for him in the car.

"Good night Bella," Edward said, and before I could tell him goodbye, his lips were pressed against mine in a beautiful embrace.

He pulled away too soon, though, and left me breathless. Squeezing my hand, he smiled at me and left. I walked into my house, locked the door, and walked up the stairs to my room, dazed beyond belief.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Months passed in much of the same fashion; Edward and I would meet at school, he would dazzle me there. He would take me out at night, and dazzle me there, too. Sometimes I went over to the Cullen's house after school. Esme and Carlisle were very glad to see me. They didn't ask very many questions though, so I guess Edward had told them what I had told him that one night at the mall.

It was so nice to be able to be back with my one and only again; sometimes we would drive up to Forks just to spend time in our meadow. Those were my favorite times spent with Edward. We would both sparkle in the sunlight and just enjoy each other. Even through all this bliss, there was always that little spot in the back of my mind that would never trust Edward again. After he left, some things would just never be the same. But that was the way that fate worked, and we would find ways to work around it.

It was almost Christmas time now, and I was at the Cullen's house helping Alice and Esme decorate the Christmas tree. Edward had his arm around my waist and he would lift me up when I needed to place an ornament up high on the tree. I always rewarded him with a kiss, and he always seemed pleased.

"What do you want for Christmas, Edward?" I asked him as I rummaged gently through the pile of glass orbs at my feet, trying to find a blue one.

"You for forever is enough for me Bella. I'll never want anything again," came his reply, and it made me smile, even though it was completely cheesy.

"Aw come on Edward, there's got to be _something_," I pressed, and he stubbornly shook his head.

"Okay then, I guess you'll be the only one who won't be opening anything for Christmas then," I said simply, and he smiled.

"That's fine with me, as long as you're here," he replied, and I gave up shortly thereafter.

Later that night, Alice pulled me aside before I went home. "He wants an Xbox 360," she whispered, and I grinned.

"Thanks," I told her, and she smiled and danced off.

"Bye Edward, I'll see you tomorrow. I have to go help Olivia and Michelle with the Christmas stuff over there," I said, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Goodbye my Bella. Be safe," Edward told me. He gently touched my face with his fingertips, smiled, and let me go.

When I looked in his eyes, I could see that he didn't want me to go. He also looked to be having some kind of an internal battle with himself over something. It worried me greatly, and caused me distress. I couldn't address it though, because I was scared.

Was it something simple that had nothing to do with me?

Or was he going to leave again?


	12. Unanswered Questions

**Going Under**

**Ch. 10 – Unanswered Questions**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. They own me.**

**A/N: There are pictures of the Hadrian's house, Bella's dress in the previous chapter, and various others on my profile. **

"Olivia, I don't know what to do. One day all's well, the next day, he looks like he's unsure of something," I told my sister as we carefully hung glass ornaments on the huge green tree set up in front of the bay window in the living room.

"Well Bells, I'm not sure either. Maybe you should ask him," Olivia suggested.

Michelle came back into the room at this point, having left to go find some more strands of lights in the attic. "What are you two talking about?" she asked curiously as she plugged the lights in to make sure they still work.

"Edward. He's been acting strange lately, like he's trying to keep a secret. It's making me really nervous," I explained to Michelle.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, unplugged the strand of lights, wound them carefully around the tree, plugged them back in again, and then said, "Ask him."

"But what do I _say_?" I pressed. "I can't just walk up to him and go, 'Hey Edward, you weren't thinking of leaving me again, were you?' How dumb would that sound," I added.

Both girls looked up and sighed. "Sorry Bella, I really don't have any more advice other than this. Just stand back and see what happens. It's very unlikely that he will leave again. Have you seen the way he looks at you?" Michelle said. Her words made me feel a bit better.

"I guess you're right. It's just hard to see him look like that!" I told them, and then let the conversation drop. "Oh well, everything takes time I guess."

"Wow girls, that looks great!" Aaron said as he entered the living room and sat on the couch. He was wearing a coat and a toboggan. Apparently he had just stapled the lights to the outside of the house. Andrew walked in a few seconds later, brushing the leaves off his jacket.

"Not too shabby," he said. Michelle and Olivia walked over to their respective partners and kissed their cheek. The men put their arms around their waists, and I suddenly wished Edward were here.

"Let's go look at the lights outside," I suggested, and escaped the confines of the house, taking in deep breaths of much-needed fresh oxygen.

It was nearly dark outside though the amount of white lights - lining the gutters, around every window, around the door, arranged in beautiful patterns in the large shrubs, wrapped up the trunks of all the oak trees, and lining the concrete pathway leading up the front door – gave everything beautiful shadows and lit up the silhouettes of every undecorated item in the yard, including all the flowers.

"Wow," I breathed as I stepped back to take it all in. I was about to say something to Andrew, but a huge ice ball – very hard, might I add – hit me in the side of the head and sent me staggering over sideways. "Hey!" I protested, bringing my hand up to the side of my head.

The ice ball was still stuck to the outside of my black toboggan hat, and I carefully pried it off.

Andrew was rolling around in the snow, laughing his stupid head off, when Olivia came to my side and we began to rapid-fire as many snowballs as we could make. At vampire-speed, it only took about ten seconds for Andrew, who was still handicapped from laughing, to become completely covered in snow.

He stopped moving, and Olivia and I crept closer to make sure that he was alright. When we were only inches away from him, clutching each other's hands, he burst out of his cocoon, sending snow everywhere, and yelled, "RAHHHHH!"

We squealed like little kids and raced off in different directions. We were no match for Andrew's speed, and he overtook us quickly. He had Olivia slung over his right shoulder, me over his left, and we were pounding his back with our fists, shrieking at him to put us down immediately or suffer the consequences. Out words were slurred and only about half of them made it out because we were laughing so hard.

I felt a second pair of cold hands on my waist as Andrew stopped walking, and I was going to protest until I saw Edward's face, bathed in light from the Christmas lights that Aaron had put up. He looked even more beautiful; there were little white flakes of snow in his bronze hair and you couldn't really see the shadows under his eyes.

"I'll take this one, Andrew," Edward said with a grin, and as soon as I was in Edward's arms, bridal style, Andrew flipped Olivia down and carried her in the same fashion.

Michelle and Aaron had been watching us play under the porch, talking amongst them. As both couples approached them, they stopped talking and Aaron shook Edward's hand, jostling me in the attempt.

"Sorry dear," Edward said, and kissed my forehead. I grinned in reply and caught Aaron's eye. He, too, looked indecisive about something. This quickly got rid of my happy mood and sent me into despair.

What in the _hell_ was going on?

We all went inside, and Edward set me down carefully on the ground. He was acting perfectly normal now. Usually when Edward came over we played board games.

What else was there for vampires to do?

Michelle retrieved Monopoly from upstairs and soon Edward and Andrew were arguing over who got to be the top hat. This usually happened and always ended when I grabbed the game piece and chucked it behind me when they weren't looking.

"Come on children, I don't see the top hat here at all," I mocked them, my tone just a tad sharper than I intended it to be.

Olivia looked up at me in surprise, remembering the conversation that we had had earlier.

"Alright, alright," Andrew grumbled, and chose another piece.

Edward was holding my hand tightly under the table as we played the game. It was far from fun and I soon lost interest, though I continued to play. By the end of the game, I was close to hyperventilation. I had somehow convinced myself that this was the last time I was going to see Edward again, since he was going to leave me.

Forcing myself to take deep, measured breaths, I put away the game, my hands shaking ever so slightly. After the game was over, Edward always left. Taking my time, I arranged all of the cards into neat little stacks, and carried the box upstairs.

I caught my reflection in the hallway mirror. What was so wrong with me? My eyes traveled up my reflection; I wore dark blue jeans, a black knit turtleneck sweater, a black toboggan hat, and a brown scarf.

Olivia followed me, and steadied me when I nearly keeled over in despair as I put away the stupid game. Her eyes were sparkling. "Bella," she said, her hands resting on my shoulders. "It's okay. Everything is going to be okay," she promised. I was going to question her, but she was gone too quickly.

Anger was now mixing in with the confusion and sadness. What was going on and why wasn't I included? And more importantly, what was it about? I walked down the stairs, my hand gliding along the silky smooth railing, and I watched my family file out the door to tell Edward goodbye. They shut the door, and I ran quickly to catch up with them.

I pulled the door open, and stopped dead in my tracks, for what I saw shocked me.

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Alice, Emmett, Jasper, Michelle, Aaron, Andrew, and Olivia were all standing around my angel; the Cullen's on his right, the Hadrian's on his left. The white Christmas lights lit up everyone's faces, and a light snow was falling.

Upon seeing me, Edward stepped forward on his right knee, and kneeled down in front of me, pulling a maroon box from his coat pocket.

"Isabella Marie Swan Hadrian, I have requested the permission of your hand in marriage from your father. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife…forever?" Edward asked with all the sincerity in the world, his topaz eyes gleaming up at me in happiness. He opened the box and a huge diamond winked up at me.

I stepped forward in wonder, out of the doorway into the cold winter night, speechless. I opened my mouth to give my answer, feeling like an idiot for doubting him, and everyone's eyes widened in what I thought was gladness. "Ye-," I started, but a cold, hard hand clamped over my mouth, causing me to bite into the soft flesh in my mouth, and yanked me backwards into the house.

I saw Edward leaping up from his position on the ground, his mouth forming the words "No!", my entire family rushing forward, the door slam, a flash of bright red hair…and darkness.


	13. Revenge is Beautiful

**Going Under**

**Ch. 11 – Revenge is Beautiful**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. **

**(A/N: Forgive me, please! I had finals and my mean, mean geography teacher made the test very hard and I have been stressing all week long. Now that it is over, I am updating.)**

I came to my senses underneath a bright white light. I had no idea where I was or what I was doing here. I forced my eyes open and sat up quickly, my head spinning. I was in a very sterile white room that reminded me of a hospital, but with nothing in it. Why was I here? Why wasn't I at home with Edward…and then I remembered.

_"Isabella Marie Swan Hadrian, I have requested the permission of your hand in marriage from your father. Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife…forever?"_

Edward had asked me to marry him, but before I had had a chance to say anything something hit me around the mouth and knocked me out, but not before I could see everyone's expressions. They were horrified. And that red hair…I knew that color. But from where? My memory seemed so fogged, as it always was when I tried to remember anything from my human days.

"I'm glad to see that you've aroused, Bella," an icy voice spat from the corner. Broken from my revere, my head snapped up at the sound and my eyes widened in shock. A name, clear as crystal, resounded through my memory.

_Victoria._

"Remember me now, do you?" Victoria asked in a sickly sweet voice. She grinned evilly and took a step towards me.

I nodded dumbly and stood up off the floor.

"Do you remember when your _boyfriend_ killed my mate?" she asked angrily, taking several more steps towards me.

I backed up against the wall, and I glanced down at my arms. They were covered in blue hash marks, drawn in neat lines across my limbs. They looked like the marks that Carlisle would draw on his patients before surgery…the lines he would use as a guide to incisions.

"What are these for?" I asked in a voice meant to sound brave, but it wavered and sounded a million miles away.

"Ah, I see you've noticed the patterns! Have I not done a good job?" she pressed, folding her hands behind her back and pacing around in front of me.

"Yes, you've done a job quite dandy, but what are they _for_?" I repeated, my voice growing in intensity as I realized exactly what their purpose was.

"Hmm, how should I put this? You know how there are those little…perforation marks in a child's coloring book that serve as a guide to tearing things out?" Victoria spoke as if I were a kindergartner and she were explaining the difference between summer and winter.

I tried to keep my face neutral, but apparently she saw the fear in my eyes, for she cackled with glee.

"The little lines meant to rip, and tear, and shred? Well, my dear Bella, those are _your_ perforation marks," she finished, glaring down at me, still smiling.

My jaw dropped in horror; my once infinite hours were now numbered.

"Perhaps you understand the gravity of the situation now. I've waited so long to get my hands on you…oh yes I have. And what a perfect moment to take you away from dear Eddy, right as he offered you forever with him. But I'm afraid that was the last time he shall ever see you in one piece!" she exclaimed, her incisors growing in length and sharpening into dangerous little points as we spoke.

As she walked towards me, her teeth exposed, her sharp, jagged nails reaching towards my porcelain skin, my life flashed before me, all of the human moments flooding my senses, breaking the dam my immortality had created.

_Edward, standing over me in the hospital with my broken leg, and the worry in his eyes._

_Charlie's expression as he hugged me awkwardly in the airport when I arrived in Forks to live there with him. _

_Jessica Stanley's shocked face as I stood in the street, approaching men who wanted nothing good from me, as I heard his voice resounding in my head. _

_Jacob's booming laugh every time I tripped over anything. _

_The adrenaline, the rush of the air surrounding me as I jumped off of the high cliff and splashed into the freezing ocean below. The helplessness…_

_The three most beautiful words that have ever escaped Edward's perfect lips; I love you. _

_All of my life I had been such a helpless, fragile being. I tripped, got myself into trouble unintentionally, and required everyone to save me at different times. The pain that I had caused Charlie when I left him to escape James; the pain that I had caused Edward when I had walked right into his trap and nearly died. _

_All of my life I have been so dependant. _

_Not anymore. _

_"I love you," he whispered. _

_I love you. _

_**I love you**. _

I flung myself at Victoria, our bodies making the sound of a mountain splitting down the middle. Her face transformed into shock, and then anger.

"What th-," she started, but I wrapped my leg around her and kicked her legs out from underneath her. She fell onto the ground and we tumbled through the room and slammed into the wall.

"What do you think you're doing, you idiot? We both know you'll only lose faster!" Victoria hissed as she sank her sharp nails into my arms, cutting through my flesh, and I yelped in pain. This put her in the lead. She threw punches at me like there was no tomorrow, which was true one of us.

As she grabbed my arms tightly and began to shake my wildly, I kicked her in the abdomen and sent her flying backward. She caught herself and flew towards me.

"You -," I began, and felt myself hit the wall behind me, which was followed by about three sickening cracks and a sharp jab of pain in my chest; my ribs. I struggled to catch my breath as she cackled and watched me suffer.

She let my shoulders go and I slid down the wall slowly.

"Weakling," Victoria spat, and kicked me hard across the face, sending me flying across the room. She followed me, and grabbed me by the wrist. I winced as something in my arm snapped, and she flung me over her head. I smashed into the ground on my back, my head hitting the white linoleum hard.

Blackness was dominating my line of sight, and I fought an internal battle.

_Just give up. You've lost; it's too late. Sleep, Bella…_

"No," I moaned out loud, yet the idea sounded so comforting…

_What's left to fight for? Charlie is gone. The Hadrian's could get on without you…you have nothing Bella. _

"The hell I don't!" I said, the intensity growing even though it was simply a whisper.

Victoria, meanwhile, could see exactly what was going on inside my head.

"Nobody loves you Bella. You're alone," she said in a motherly tone; kind, gentle. "Just give up. Surrender to the darkness," Victoria whispered, inches from my throat. "Just let go," she added, her cold fingers wrapping around my neck.

The words stirred something in my memory.

"_Just let me go, Charlie."_

I had said those words for a purpose.

For him.

For Edward.

A wild scream tore from my lips as my own hands closed around Victoria's gullet, squeezing hard. Her hands closed around my own throat at the same time.

We stared each other down, locked in gazes of hatred and loathing.

I realized that her grip around my neck was much stronger than my grip around hers. As she continued to squeeze, I felt my neck pop; any harder and it would surely break.

"Ah yes. Revenge is a dish best served cold," she hissed, victory on her face. She laughed, though the sound was choked because of the pressure being applied to her windpipe.

As she reveled in glory before even killing me, I saw that she was going to try and make my death as slow and painful as possible by squeezing the life out of me, though she could make it much quicker if she twisted my neck. But that would be too quick and painless to give her any real enjoyment.

_Idiot. _

"It's a shame you'll never get to experience it," I choked, and slammed her head back, her flaming red hair flying in frenzy around her head as her neck snapped.

Her hands dropped from around me and she fell to the ground. Her head was stuck in a horrific angle; almost completely underneath her.

Though she was my enemy, it was the most terrible thing I had ever seen.

She was dead.

_I_ had taken someone's life.

I had _killed_.

"Oh my God," I whispered as I looked at her dead, unmoving body. The events of the fight were starting to weigh heavily on me, and I was in pain. My whole body hurt like nothing I had ever felt, and I cried out as my chest throbbed, the bruises around my neck and my body began to form, and I fell to the ground, my body broken.

My vision started to leave me.

Someone called my name, and suddenly Edward was by my side.

"Oh Bella," he whispered, gently supporting my head with his hands.

"Carlisle!" my angel yelled, and suddenly the blond bombshell appeared at my side.

"We need to get her home immediately. Support her neck and we need something to splint her arm," he said, only stopping when Alice handed him a piece of wood that she had torn from one of the studs in the wall.

"Stay with us Bella, focus on the light above your head. Don't go to sleep," Carlisle said. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm alive," I whispered, my voice sounding strong even though my body was not.

For some reason unknown to me, I was still conscience. Though my body screamed with pain every time they touched me, and Carlisle was prodding me everywhere, I pressed my lips together and fought the urge to cry out.

Edward was gently stroking my hair, wiping my occasional tear gently from my bruised face, and whispering, "It's okay," over and over. I'm not sure if he was reassuring himself or me, but it kept us both calm.

"Can you lift her Edward?" Carlisle asked his adopted son, and soon the ground left me. His arm was supporting me around my back, exactly where my broken ribs were. Again, I bit my tongue.

"Bella, my love," Edward whispered as I lay in the back of the Suburban, and he sat next to me. I knew he was going to apologize so I cut him off before he could.

"Yes," I said. It was a statement, not a question.

"What, honey?" he asked, confused.

"Yes," I repeated as my voice broke.

He stared at me as if I was crazy, but then something in his mind clicked.

Edward took the box from his pocket that he had shown me earlier, pulled the ring out, and slipped it on my finger.

With Edward, it was so easy to find the beauty in every situation that life throws as you. I knew that even though everything may fall apart, my whole world could be blown to bits even, and I would know it would be okay as long as he was with me.

I held my savior's hand as something fought to take over my mind.

"I love you," Edward whispered.

I eased gently into the darkness, and welcomed unconsciousness warmly.


	14. Sub Ch 3 Healing

**Going Under**

**Sub. Ch. 3 – Healing**

**Edward**

I paced around my room, my head spinning. Life as I knew it was going to change today, but I had a choice as to how it began. Alice had no visions to reassure me, making this the most terrifying moment of my entire life – all 154 years of it. In my coat pocket was a little maroon box carefully holding an engagement ring that I would present to my Bella in a few hours.

Alice sprinted gracefully into my room; her mind blocked, and startled me.

"Wow! I think that was the first time I ever made you jump!" she exclaimed in her high-pitched musical voice that would have made Madonna jealous, had she not died forty years ago.

"Alice! Can you not see that I'm terrified?" I asked her with an edge in my voice.

Jasper entered my room next with a pained look on his face.

"Edward, please just calm down. You're giving me an ulcer," he pleaded.

"Sorry, I'm just so scared. What if she says no?" I said, and stopped pacing.

"Why would she say no?" Jasper pressed.

"I don't know…" I trailed off with a sigh, and forced myself to take several lung-fulls of air.

I suddenly felt a bit less stressed out, and silently thanked Jasper.

"Alice, have you had any visions?" I asked my sister, and she grinned.

"I have, but I'm not going to say anything. Every man should go through this and not cheat with my abilities," she teased me, tapping her forehead.

I growled, and Jasper stepped between us.

"Hey man, how do you think Carlisle, me, and Emmett felt? Everyone goes through this, and obviously some people take it better," Jasper said, snickering at the last few words.

I glared at the two of them for a few seconds, and then walked past them and down the stairs. I was supposed to be at Bella's at six, and it was already fifty-eight minutes past five.

I could hear her laugh a mile away, and my dead heart twitched. I grinned and ran faster, shoving tree branches out of my way as I ran to her house from mine. As the woods thinned out, Bella's huge house came into view. It was even larger than our house, here or in Forks. It was more of an estate than a mansion.

The lawn was gigantic and lush green, with a row of perfectly cut hedges running through the middle, circling in a large arch around the house, for privacy. Behind the hedges, Michelle kept a massive flower bed, filled with nearly every type of flower that Bella and I had had in our meadow. When I had first came here, I was not sure if Bella had done that on purpose, but then Andrew told me that flowerbed was Bella's idea in the first place; she had gone to the hardware store herself and bought every supply necessary to maintain a garden as beautiful as could be.

Between the flowerbed and the house was a path of white gravel with large stepping stones placed in a line straight up to the porch. The house itself was magnificent; three stories tall, with white colonial-style windows with deep blue shutters, a chimney coming out of either side of the house, all in red brick. The roof was of grey slate and behind the house and on either side was a dense forest, deep green and beautiful.

Coming out of the second story right smack in the middle was a huge white balcony, supported by big white columns coming up from the porch. To make everything even more beautiful, the entire place was covered in a blanket of snow, and Aaron and Andrew had covered the whole thing in lights, including all the large foliage.

Andrew had Olivia and Bella around the waist on either side of him, spinning them around and holding them captive as they shrieked with laughter and pounded on his back, lightly, ordering him to put them down immediately or suffer the consequences. Aaron and Michelle were leaning against the railing of the porch, their hands around each others' waists, and they smiled and waved at me as I approached the six of them in their front yard.

I grinned and waved back, then approached Andrew and gently removed Bella from him.

"I've got this one," I said, and held her bridal style in my arms. I felt so nervous as I held her close to my body. It was nearly time…

Bella was looking at me oddly, but I smiled and she seemed pleased. I went and shook Aaron's hand, and before I knew it, we were playing Monopoly. I was trying to stall as much as possible, so I argued with Andrew about being a certain game piece. He took the bait, and Bella had thrown the game piece behind her when his head was turned.

I was in a different place as we played the game, and Bella went to put it up. I quickly informed the rest of the Hadrian's what was going on, and my family arrived.

Alice took charge and assembled everyone around me outside, and we waited for Bella to come down. Nobody quite noticed when Alice went rigid and her eyes glazed over. Finally, finally, Bella appeared in the door, opening it slowly at first.

"Edward," Alice whispered. I figured she was going to tell me good luck, so I ignored her and knelt down in front of Bella.

Choosing my words carefully, I told her that I had asked permission from Aaron to have her hand in marriage, and then I asked her for forever.

To say that her jaw hit the floor would be an understatement, and I could see the tears building in her eyes immediately. As she stepped forward, I caught a familiar scent.

But it wasn't Bella's.

"NO!" I yelled, flinging myself off the ground as a hand hit Bella in the mouth and dragged her back in the house. The door slammed in my face, knocking me backwards and leaving an imprint of my nose in it.

I wrenched it open, tearing it off its hinges, and ran after the thing that had my future wife. Glass broke and I watched something bright red streak across the front yard, leaving no tracks in the snow. I jumped out the window nearest to me, hit the ground on my feet, and ran after them.

"Come back!" I yelled in desperation as I lost the scent.

A stick cracked behind me and I lunged at it, forcing it to the ground.

"Edward, you moron!" Emmett yelled as he easily shoved me off of his muscular torso.

"They took Bella!" I yelled back, picking myself off of the ground and racing off to the west.

"BELLA!" I roared in defeat as I ran through the endless forest.

I leaned against a tree for support as I breathed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose. Carlisle appeared beside me and gently laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Bella will be fine; she's very strong," he said, trying to be reassuring.

"They knocked her out cold, Carlisle!" I reminded him angrily, and before he could reply, Jasper came running up to us.

"Alice had a vision. Victoria took Bella to the old hospital in the south end of town, the one they don't use anymore," Jasper informed us, and we all took off running when he was done.

As we jumped into the Suburban that Carlisle had drive the family over in, Alice stiffened and her face blanked as she welcomed the vision.

"They're fighting," she whispered, and I slammed my foot on the accelerator, crushing it to the floor of the car. The speedometer's orange needle was unmoving since it had reached maximum speed.

"Please car, go faster," I begged it quietly. We were almost there…

After an eternity of driving, we reached the abandoned hospital. It had been unused for almost thirty years, and it was completely empty. There was a single light on in one of the rooms on the eighth floor. I released the gas pedal and threw my door open, running through the front door and taking the stairs two at a time.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold," I heard Victoria say, and Bella replied, "It's a shame you'll never experience it." There was a sharp 'snap' shortly afterwards, and I heard a body crumple to the floor.

"Bella!" I screamed as I burst through the door into their room, not even bothering to open it. The door splintered into a thousand pieces as my body moved through it.

My Bella was laying on the floor adjacent to Victoria, and both appeared to be dead.

Time moved in slow motion as I ran to her, cradling her head in my hands.

"Oh Bella," I whispered, and her beautiful eyes opened.

_Thank you, God!_

"Carlisle!" I yelled, and as soon as he entered the room and saw us he began to bark out orders.

Alice tore a piece of wood from the wall and we used it to splint Bella's broken arm. Though bruises could not form on vampires because of the still blood in our bodies, I could tell that Bella was hurt because there were dents on her skin. That was the much more painful alternatives to simple bruises for our kind.

Her eyes drooped; Carlisle asked her something to which she replied, "I'm alive."

I lifted her carefully from the ground, supporting her back, and carried her to the Suburban. Through this entire time I realized that I had not spoken.

"Bella, my love," I choked, willing myself not to start dry-sobbing since I could not cry tears.

"Yes," she managed to reply, her statement firm. This confused me.

"What, honey?" I asked. Was she going crazy?

"Yes," Bella replied, and I realized that she was accepting my proposal since she held up her left hand to me.

I took the ring from the box and slipped it on her finger; perfect fit.

I held her hand tightly as I told her that I loved her, and she drifted off.

It seemed to take forever to get home. We couldn't take her to a hospital because she had no heartbeat, so it was up to Carlisle to try and fix her.

Andrew, Olivia, Jasper, Emmett, and Alice had stayed behind at the hospital to tear Victoria up and set the hospital on fire. Michelle and Esme stayed behind at the house just in case Bella and her captor returned, Carlisle was driving us, and Aaron was with me in the Suburban, examining the blue hash marks along Bella's arms.

"Who would _do _this to her?" Aaron asked in horror. I explained the story to him, and by the time I finished we were home.

I carried her inside my home and laid her on the couch in the living room. Esme and Michelle jumped up at the sight of her, and immediately began to question us.

Aaron explained to the women as Carlisle did all he could to make her comfortable. Only now did I see the extent of her injuries; there were deep gouges in her flesh, and Carlisle said she had broken three ribs, plus her right arm was fractured.

"That's all that I can do. It's up to Bella to heal," Carlisle said sadly, and went to fetch a blanket. Esme brought me a bowl of water and a cloth, and I thanked her and wiped the smudges of dirt off of Bella's face.

The rest of the family turned up several hours later. "Emmett, Jasper, and Andrew tore her up, and the rest of us lit the place on fire," Olivia explained to me when they filed through the door. They crowded around me and Bella, and after a while went to their respective rooms.

"You are welcome to stay here for the night," Esme offered the Hadrian's, and they accepted the offer.

o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

It was amazing to watch the wounds in her flesh heal, and the dents on her body to go away. I never let go of Bella's hand once during the entire process. Vampires healed three times as fast as humans, which is why I was able to watch the healing process.

Day one expired and the deep dents in her skin began to even out with the rest of her body.

Day two droned on, and the scratches and gouges in her arms began to shrink up and vanish without so much as a scar left behind.

Day three passed, and I guessed her bones were healing, since her skin was once again flawless, with the exception of the blue hash marks on her arms.

On the fourth day of waiting, the sun appeared on the horizon, sending rays of light through the curtains on the window and cascading us in the morning light. As the light crept up Bella's body, making her skin sparkle, I wondered to myself how long this process of healing would take. It was torture waiting here for this beautiful creature to emerge from her shell and shine her light on me.

The light of the morning sun spread over her legs, abdomen, chest, neck, lips, nose, eyes…

Bella's lips twitched and her eyes fluttered open.

"Bella," I said in amazement. I let go of her hand and touched her perfect face, tracing her lips and her cheek bones.

She smiled, reached up and took my hand, and held it in her own.

My name sounded beautiful on her lips.


	15. I Know

**Going Under**

**Ch. 12 – I Know**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon.**

**(A/N: Hello! Updated pictures of an assortment of things on my profile – just a reminder! You guys are in for a shock in the next few chapters. I'm not sure if it's ever been done before, but it shall! And I shall do it! Anyway, my vampire name is _Angelique d'Angoulême_. How cool is that?? Enjoy the chapter!)**

It had been a year today since I had killed Victoria and accepted Edward's proposal. I had been planning my wedding since then with the help of Olivia, Alice, and Michelle, and let me just say that I have a new-found respect for wedding planners.

"Just please make sure that the poinsettias get here on the twenty-fourth," I said into the phone. I was slouched over the kitchen table, pen hovering over a notebook, listening to the girl on the other end of the phone line tell me that almost fifty arrangements of poinsettias, baby's breath, and roses were nearly impossible to come by.

"What do you mean you can't? I made my order six months ago! Now here we are, two weeks away from the date of the event and you're refusing my business?!" I exclaimed.

If vampires could have hypertension, I would be going into cardiac arrest right now. Edward, sensing my distress, entered the kitchen at that time and smoothly took the phone from my hand.

"We are cancelling our order, have a merry Christmas," he said simply, and hung up the phone.

"Where are we going to get flowers now?" I said angrily, flinging the pen down onto the notebook.

"I promise we will have flowers at our wedding. You've been so stressed out Bella, I think you should relax," he suggested, resting his hands on my tense shoulders and massaging the knots out of my muscles.

"Ahh," I sighed in bliss as his strong thumbs worked the stress from my shoulders. Completely relaxed, I let my head loll around and my eyes closed.

The phone rang, and I reached for it.

"Don't stop that," I commanded him, and he grinned, continuing to massage my shoulders.

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Good morning! Is a Miss Isabella Hadrian available?" said a cheery voice.

"This is she," I replied, no trace of stress evident in my voice.

"This is Ines di Santo Bridal and I'm just confirming that your bridal gown and four bridesmaids' dresses were shipped this morning from Manhattan, and should be arriving in about a week," the voice explained, and a huge grin broke out on my face.

"Thank you so much!" I said, checking something off the list in front of me.

"You're very welcome, and congratulations."

I hung up the phone and relayed the information to Edward.

"Wonderful!" he said, and dropped his hands from my shoulders.

"The dresses shipped today, your tuxes shipped yesterday, we paid both the catering and cake bills in full, the linens were purchased, the tables rented, balloons ordered, and everything else but the flowers are basically done," I said, clapping my hands together. As I did so, my engagement ring caught the light and I couldn't help but admire it.

Three stones sat atop a band of white gold; a huge diamond in the center and on the left and right of it stones of topaz and onyx. It was perfect and it reminded me of my one and only every time I saw it, which I did frequently.

"I'm glad. Now can we relax?" Edward asked me hopefully, and I told him yes, but only after the flowers were ordered.

"Oh come on Bella, there's two whole weeks before the wedding! A few hours won't make any difference," he pleaded, making his bright topaz eyes smolder under his dark lashes.

"I-I….alright," I agreed before I knew what I was doing.

He grinned triumphantly and scooped me gently out of my chair, racing us outside and grabbing our winter gear before closing the door. "Let's go for a walk," was all he said, and the next think I knew I he was putting my beanie on my head, wrapping my scarf around my neck and zipping my coat up to my throat.

"Edward!" I said once my eyes stopped spinning. I unzipped my jacket and shoved my hands into my pockets.

"It's not below freezing, and vampires don't get cold," I told him, and he chuckled.

"It is below freezing Bella, and what would the humans think if they saw us parading around in short-sleeved shirts?" he asked me calmly, taking my hand from my pocket and holding it in his own.

"Oh fine. You always win," I said, thrusting my lower lip out into a pout.

"You're so cute when you do that," Edward whispered, blowing his sweet breath in my face. He kissed me and we began to walk down the street.

"Oh, and Edward? You're ordering the flowers," I said.

"It's the least I can do, my love. You've been all tensed up for so long, the flowers should be simple," he said, waving his hand in the air.

"If that's what you say Edward," I told him, and smirked.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Hi, I need fifty arrangements of poinsettias, baby's breath, and red roses," Edward said into the telephone several hours later that day.

"The wedding is on December twenty-fourth. Yes, two weeks," he explained.

They put him on hold for a while, and by a while I mean nearly an hour, and in that time I had taken the phone from him and held it to my ear.

"Yes, fifty arrangements," I said to the person who picked up the phone on the other line finally.

My eyes bugged from my head at the asking price.

"Ten. Thousand. Dollars. You want TEN-THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR _FLOWERS_?" I yelled, standing up from the table abruptly. This was outrageous!

"You're crazy! Who would pay ten-thousand dollars for flo-," I yelled, but Edward snatched the phone from my hand.

"We'll take them," he said, and gave them the information they needed.

After hanging up, I rounded on him.

"H-…are you crazy?!" I exclaimed, surprising Edward.

"I promised we would have flowers at our wedding, and now we do," he said calmly.

We argued for a while about it, but then I gave in and just accepted the fact that we were paying way too much for flowers.

Alice danced in a few moments after I apologized to Edward for yelling at him, and she grinned happily.

"Bella! Our dresses shipped this morning!" she shrieked. I marveled at her for a moment; she was a radiating ball of pure energy.

"I know! I got a call from the store this morning. I can't wait for them to get here!" I said, separating myself from Edward and walking over to his sister.

"Edward!" yelled Emmett from the living room frantically.

We all rushed in as quickly as we could, only to see Emmett kneeling in front of the television with a tiny Xbox controller in his hands, pounding on the buttons with his thumbs, trying to kill all the zombies that were popping up on the high-def television screen.

Edward quickly grabbed a controller and began fighting the zombies himself alongside Emmett's character, and Alice and I rolled our eyes and went back into the kitchen.

"Men," we mumbled in unison as we sat down next to Esme, who was now at the kitchen table, pouring over my checklist that I had created for the wedding plans.

"Wow Bella! Almost finished!" she said, looking up from the notebook to look at me with a smile on her face.

"Oh Bella, the printing company is ready for you to pick up the napkins," Alice reminded me, tapping her forehead with her index finger.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Bella, let's go to the meadow," Edward said suddenly as we drove together in his car, leaving the company who had produced the napkins for the reception; they read 'Congratulations Bella and Edward' in black script, with deep red roses and poinsettias wrapped around each other outlining the white paper.

"Okay," I said with a smile, reaching across the console of his Volvo to take hold of his hand. He squeezed my hand back and drove to Washington. It only took about an hour, since he kept the gas pedal basically floored the whole way there.

Finally we were driving down the dirt road and stopped where the trees kept the car from going any further. I got out of the car and was about to run alongside Edward when he looked over at me and took my arm.

"Get on my back," he said with a grin.

"Edward, I can run just as fast as you now," I reminded him, making him grin wider.

"Come on, for old times' sake," he added. "Please?"

"Okay, but only for you," I told him. He looked so happy as I climbed onto his back and he took off running for our little piece of heaven, dodging trees and keeping me safe in his arms. When we arrived, the bright moonlight shining down at us, he gently swung me around from his back and cradled me in his arms. Edward set me down and lay next to me. I snuggled into his chest, enjoying his sweet scent, and he held my hand to his face.

"Let's come here every night after we're married," I said after a while of lying in each others' arms, watching the stars dance in the sky.

"I would love that," he replied quietly, running his fingers through my hair.

"I love you Bella," Edward told me, in a voice so soft and sweet that it nearly brought it me to tears. He gently kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek with his thumb. This was too good to be true…I was the luckiest girl in the world.

"I know," I whispered back, the only words I could manage.

**(A/N: That was basically just an excuse for a little bit of fluff. After all the violence of the previous chapters, I figured that it was about time. :-P**

**By the way, somebody said that they were sad about this story ending soon. I think they're crazy, because this story is going to keep going for as long as I want it to, and I don't want it to end any time soon, I promise! Thanks so much for all the reviews; they inspire me and give me a reason to keep writing. I love you guys!)**

_Angelique d'Angoulême_


	16. Amarantine

**Going Under**

**Ch. 13 – Amarantine**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. **

**(A/N: I LOVE this chapter!! Pictures of ALL described dresses, the wedding song, and plenty of other stuff. Thank you Sarah for helping me choose a song for the Father/Daughter dance!)**

"I'm getting married," I whispered to Alice as I sat in my bathroom on a little stool in front of a lighted vanity.

"I know Bella, I'm so excited!" she exclaimed as she pulled my chocolate brown hair back into an elegant up-do.

Her hair was already fixed, along with every other female in the wedding party. It was very hard to believe what today was…Christmas eve. All the little kids in the world would be wishing for Santa Claus to come tonight and give them their rewards for being good the entire year.

But tonight was different to me…Edward was my only wish this year. And now I'm going to have him forever.

"Bella, where's your dress?" Alice asked, and brought me out of my thoughts.

"Hanging on the closet door," I said as I reached forward and took the diamond earrings off the counter and slid them into my pierced ears.

"'Kay, thanks," she said, and danced off to retrieve it.

After handing me the beautiful gown, I removed my robe and stepped into the dress. It fit perfectly, hugging my curves. I was so proud of myself that I got to wear white on my wedding day; self-control was not easy when Edward looked so beautiful all the time, but I had resisted.

"Zip me up Alice," I said turning around. I felt the zipper move up my back and then I zipped up the back of her dress.

"You look amazing!" we said to each other at the same time. We both grinned and hugged each other tightly.

The color scheme of the wedding was maroon and white. The bridesmaid's dresses were maroon and very simple; strapless, and they seemed to wrap around their bodies. There were, indeed, fifty arrangements of poinsettias, roses, and baby's breath, surrounding the place where Edward and I would wed. Both wedding and reception were being held at my house (the Hadrian's house).

"Bella, it's nearly time," Michelle said as she entered the bathroom with a reassuring smile on her beautiful face. Esme was right beside her, and handed me a huge bouquet of sweet-smelling flowers to match the other flowers being used in the ceremony.

"Thank you," I said to them, and they looked like they were on the verge of tears. Michelle, who could no longer control herself, gathered me up into a hug and held me close for a few seconds, then released me and began to tuck some of the stray curls that had fallen out of the bun on my head back up.

"Five minutes!" Rosalie sang up the stairs, and the butterflies in my stomach suddenly multiplied.

I looked myself over in the mirror quickly, and was startled by the girl who looked back at me. Her angel's face looked ecstatic, framed by several loose curls falling around her head. Sparkling diamond earrings adorned each side of her head, and a matching necklace rested on her throat. A ring of diamond, topaz, and onyx winked up at her from her left hand; in a matter of minutes, that ring would be joined with another, signifying the ultimate sign of love. Around this woman's body was a stunning dress of white. It cascaded down her slim figure, accentuating every feminine curve. It was strapless, and was embroidered with sequins, filigree, and tiny rose petals that would never wither with age. I reached out slowly and touched the coldness of the mirror; no longer was I Gran, as I had been in the nightmare that had haunted my human life had portrayed me. No, I was beautiful, powerful, and forever-young.

"Come on Bella," Alice whispered, taking my hand and leading me to my wedding.

We carefully descended the stairs, me clutching my bouquet, Alice with a huge grin on her face, Esme and Michelle holding hands and trailing close behind me, being careful not to step on my train.

"Oh Bella," Aaron said when we arrived at the bottom. "You look beautiful," he said, hugging me gently.

"Thanks dad," I said, adjusting his bowtie for him.

"I can't believe you're getting married today, I'm so happy for you!" he added, and all I could do was grin stupidly, because I just couldn't find the words. He seemed to understand, and pointed out the window.

I gasped in shock; it was even more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. A red carpet had been rolled out in the middle of the lush green grass of my front yard, inside an aisle created by two huge sections of white chairs. Almost all of the chairs were full; that meant there were over three-hundred people here. The carpet ended underneath the big gazebo that Aaron and Andrew had built over the summer. The gazebo was covered in poinsettias and roses, and underneath it stood Edward, Carlisle, and the preacher. Edward looked more like a God than anybody had a right to. He wore a simple black tuxedo; his vest was maroon and sat over a shirt of white. Carlisle wore a matching tuxedo as Edward, and looked like a vision, though he was nothing compared to Edward. The preacher standing next to him was old and wizened; he looked perfect for the job of wedding us. To the left of the gazebo was a quartet and a woman with a microphone in her hand. I had chosen a song that I had always loved instead of the more traditional stuff.

As I stared at Edward, I had not noticed that Rosalie, Alice, Olivia, Emmett, Jasper, and Andrew had assembled in a line at the front door. The men wore tuxedos like Carlisle and Edward. I glanced over at them, and caught Olivia's eye.

"Bella, congratulations!" she shrieked, and hugged me. I laughed and hugged her back, and she quickly went back to the line. The men waved at me and mouthed 'good luck'.

The instruments were lifted, and music was produced, silencing the crowd into awe at the beauty of it combined with all the other elements of this beautiful day.

**(A/N: Ooh! I am excited. To set the mood for the reader, I have put a link on my profile so that you may listen to the song that Bella uses for her wedding march! Please go there and turn the song on, and while it's playing, read the rest.)**

_You know when you give your love away_

_It opens your heart, everything is new_

_And you know time will always find a way_

_To let your heart believe it's true_

Esme and Michelle walked down the aisle together, and when they reached the end of the carpet, they hugged each other, then hugged Edward, and Esme went to stand besides Carlisle, while Michelle went to stand on the side of the gazebo that would hold my side of the wedding party.

_You know love is everything you say_

_A whisper, a word, promises you give_

_You feel it in the heartbeat of the day_

_You know this is the way love is_

After they were situated, Andrew escorted Olivia down the aisle. They broke apart when they reached the steps of the gazebo, and Andrew went to stand by Edward, while Olivia went to stand by Michelle. Jasper and Alice followed suite, and then Rosalie and Emmett; the women on my side, the men on Edward's.

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Love is love is love_

A little girl, not a day over the age of four, walked carefully down the aisle, gently spreading small handfuls of red rose petals over the red carpet, preparing it for my descent down the aisle. My breath caught in my throat as the entire congregation stood and turned around. Edward looked up expectantly, a small smile playing up his features.

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Amaranthine_

_Love is love is love_

"It's time Bella," Aaron whispered. He offered me his arm, and I took it.

_You know love may sometimes make you cry_

_So let the tears go, they will flow away_

_For you know love will always let you fly_

_How far a heart can fly away _

As we walked down the aisle, many people I had never even met before smiled down at me. They were so happy for me. I felt a sudden rush of gratitude for these strangers, showing me support on the happiest day of my life. I looked up at my groom. He ogled at me for a moment, then a huge grin broke out on his face; he looked absolutely giddy with excitement. I smiled back at him, a light blush warming my face.

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Love is love is love_

As we neared the end of the carpet, Edward stepped down the stairs, still beaming, and turned to Aaron. They shook hands, and Aaron lifted the sheer veil from my face, kissed my cheek, and went to stand next to his wife.

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Amarantine_

_Love is love is love_

Edward took my hands, and we faced each other. Our eyes bored into each other's souls, searching for the love, and finding it immediately. We stared, unable to look away…spellbound.

_You know when love's shining in your eyes_

_It may be the stars, falling from above_

_And you know love is with you when you rise_

_For night and day belong to love_

When the song ended and Emmett coughed loudly, breaking our trance, we walked up to the priest and stood in front of him. He smiled down upon us as he opened up the small black book he held in front of him and began to speak.

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered together here in the sign of God – and in the face of this company – to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

At this, he waited a few seconds and looked patiently out on the congregation, but when no one objected, he continued.

"Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy – and for the help and comfort given on another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly – it is a means through which a stable and loving environment may be attained.

"Through marriage, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan Hadrian make a commitment together to face their disappointments – embrace their dreams – realize their hopes – and accept each other's failures. Edward and Isabella will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together – through mutual understanding – openness – and sensitivity to each other.

"We are here today – before God – because marriage is one of His most sacred wishes – to witness the joining in marriage of Edward and Isabella. This occasion marks the celebration of love and commitment with which this man and this woman begin their life together. And now – through me – He joins you together in one of the holiest bonds.

"Who gives this woman in marriage to this man?"

To this, Aaron stepped forward and said, "Her family and friends gathered here today do." He stepped back and the minister continued.

"This is a beginning and a continuation of their growth as individuals. With mutual care, respect, responsibility and knowledge comes the affirmation of each one's own life happiness, growth and freedom. With respect for individual boundaries comes the freedom to love unconditionally. Within the emotional safety of a loving relationship – the knowledge self-offered one another becomes the fertile soil for continued growth. With care and responsibility towards self and one another comes the potential for full and happy lives.

"By gathering together all the wishes of happiness and our fondest hopes for Edward and Isabella from all present here, we assure them that our hearts are in tune with theirs. These moments are so meaningful to all of us, for "what greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined together – to strengthen each other in all labor – to minister to each other in all sorrow – to share with each other in all gladness."

_Come on, hurry up before he changes his mind!_ I silently willed the minister, whose words, though beautiful, seemed to be droning on forever.

"This relationship stands for love, loyalty, honesty and trust, but most of all for friendship. Before they knew love, they were friends, and it was from this seed of friendship that is their destiny. Do not think that you can direct the course of love – for love, if it finds you worthy, shall direct you.

"Marriage is an act of faith and a personal commitment as well as a moral and physical union between two people. Marriage has been described as the best and most important relationship that can exist between them. It is the construction of their love and trust into a single growing energy of spiritual life. It is amoral commitment that requires and deserves daily attention. Marriage should be a life long consecration of the ideal of loving kindness – backed with the will to make it last."

Finally, the minister turned to Edward, who looked nervous and excited at the same time.

"Do you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen take Isabella Marie Swan Hadrian to be your wife – to live together after God's ordinance – in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart's deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?" he asked my angel.

Edward turned his eyes away from the minister and looked at me. "I do," he said, and I smiled. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as he spoke.

The minister turned towards me, and I looked up at him.

"Do you Isabella Marie Swan Hadrian take Edward Anthony Masen Cullen to be your husband – to live together after God's ordinance – in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon him your heart's deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto him as long as you both shall live?"

Looking up at Edward, "I do," sprung forth from my lips a little too quickly; several people in the congregation giggled, and I blushed.

"What token of your love do you offer? Would you place the rings in my hand?" the minister continued.

Jasper stepped forward and pulled the rings from his pocket, handed them to the minister, and stepped back next to Emmett.

"May these rings be blessed as the symbol of this affectionate unity. These two lives are now joined in one unbroken circle. Wherever they go – may they always return to one another. May these two find in each other the love for which all men and women yearn. May they grow in understanding and in compassion. May the home which they establish together be such a place that many will find there a friend. May these rings on their fingers symbolize the touch of the spirit of love in their hearts."

After reciting this, he handed my ring to Edward, who took my hand.

"Edward, in placing this ring on Isabella's finger, repeat after me," the minister said, and as he was going to tell Edward what to say, Edward said the entire thing without the minister having to speak once.

"Isabella, you are now consecrated to me as my wife from this day forward and I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity and with this ring, I thee wed," he said, sincerity making his liquid topaz eyes smolder. He slid the ring on my finger, and it locked in with my engagement ring.

"Impressive!" the minister said, and chuckled along with all the guests, including myself.

"Isabella, in placing this ring on Edward's finger, repeat after…well, go ahead and say it," he said with a smile, and I eagerly took the ring from the minister's hands and slowly slid it onto Edward's finger.

"Edward, you are now consecrate to me as my husband from this day forward and I give you this ring as the pledge of my love and as the symbol of our unity and with this ring, I thee wed."

Edward looked at our rings in amazement, as I did…we were almost finished…

"May you always share with each other the gifts of love – be one in heart and in mind – may you always create a home together that puts in your hearts – love – generosity and kindness.

"In as much as Edward and Isabella have consented together in marriage before this company of friends and family and have pledged their faith – and declared their unity by giving and receiving a ring – are now joined.

"You have pronounced yourselves husband and wife but remember to always be each other's best friend.

"What – therefore – God has joined together – let no man put asunder."

_Here it comes_, I thought to myself, willing myself to keep from bouncing up and down in excitement. Both Edward and I grinned stupidly, so in love.

"And so, by the power vested in me by the State of Oregon and Almighty God, I now pronounce you man and wife – and may your days be good and long upon the earth."

I sighed in happiness as Edward squeezed my hand tight.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Before the words had even left the minister's mouth, Edward's lips were upon mine, and we shared an _almost_ chaste kiss.

Unwillingly, we broke apart, a single tear of happiness dancing down my cheek. Edward reached up and gently brushed off, then kissed me lightly again, and we turned and faced the congregation, holding hands.

"Ladies and gentlemen may I be the first to announce Mister and Misses Edward Cullen," the minister said, and all stood and clapped. We were consumed in a mob of our families as they surrounded us in hugs, kisses, and congratulations. After about an hour, which included more mobbing and lots of pictures, we finally made our way inside the house to our banquet reception.

Edward held me close to his side, his eyes barely ever leaving me. He kissed me again and again. "I love you so much Bella, thank you for marrying me," he whispered in my ear. I felt my knees go out, and he quickly steadied me. It was a good thing nobody noticed…what an embarrassing thing to have to explain.

"Thank you for marrying _me_, Edward," I said back, and he smiled and touched my face gently.

"Enough of the mush, let's have some fun!" Emmett exclaimed as he ran up to us, his eyes sparkling. He had a glass of champagne in his hand; he may not have a taste for human food anymore, but he loved a glass of alcohol every now and then.

He handed us each a glass, and dragged us up to the front of the room. The living room was massive, and all of the furniture had been taken out so there was more than enough room for three-hundred people.

Edward's arm never left my waist as the toasts took place.

"I just want to say that I, for one, am very happy for Eddy and Bella here. They have helped me through so much, and have really helped my marriage with Rosalie. They've taught me compassion, understanding, and have really made me appreciate just how fragile life is," Emmett started, and I knew that he was referring back to when I was still a human.

"Life is too short not to fall in love. Congratulations Bella and Edward, we all love you so much," he finished, and I wiped a tear from my eye as everyone toasted us. Edward bent down and kissed my cheek, then took a sip from his glass.

"And I'd like to thank Esme, Michelle, Aaron, and Carlisle for pitching in to rent these guys a hotel tonight, because I happen to live right down the hallway from dear Edward, and I personally wouldn't get much sleep tonight," he added, and I blushed scarlet as everyone burst out laughing, including Edward.

"Emmett!" I protested, smacking his rock-hard arm with my hand.

He escaped to the crowd, laughing wildly, and slugging back another glass of bubbly.

"What a creep," I mumbled, still mortified, to Edward who told me that it was just a joke.

Everyone was getting eager to dance, and it was tradition that the bride and her father open up the dance floor, followed by the bride and groom together.

Aaron and I danced to a song that we had picked together; 'Butterfly Kisses' by Bob Dylan. I was never one for sappy music like that, but this song just felt right and it was so beautiful.

"Thank you for finding us Bella," he whispered in my ear after the music had ended and everyone clapped. It seemed he was having trouble speaking, and seeing strong Aaron like this made my throat close up trying to hold back the tears.

"Thank you for being my dad for so long," I told him, and he smiled, hugging me close, then turned me over to Edward.

Edward and I danced to Louis Armstrong's 'What a Wonderful World'. He whispered the words in my ear as he spun me around the dance floor. He held me tightly to him, and gown concealed the fact that my feet were upon his, and I wasn't really dancing at all.

After what seemed like the longest, most fun night of my life, people began to file out of my home. Emmett had gotten plastered and was running around, completely naked save for his bowtie and cuffs, sitting on the piano bench in the living room, his fingers blindly pressing keys, screaming for people to dance with him. When nobody would, he would get up and run around again, waving his hands over his head. Poor Rosalie looked mortified.

I laughed, cried, blushed, and for once in a long time felt human, surrounded by friends and family.

The night was over, only a few people remained.

"Bella," somebody said, and I looked away from Edward and Jasper, who I was having a conversation with. I recognized the speaker; the kid named Bob from my senior year of high school.

"Oh uh…hi Bob," I said as he bounded up to me. He was dressed in black jeans and a blue shirt, his glasses broken and taped together on the corners.

"I just wanted to say congratulations," he said, and handed me a rose. He picked up my hand to examine my ring without my consent, and I nearly smacked him for touching me at all.

"Thanks Bob," I managed, and he smiled seductively.

"Here, in case you want to contact me, please call my cell," he said, and handed me a card with several numbers on it, an email address, and a house address.

I looked at it for a second. Was he serious? Before I could ask him, he was already leaving. "I'll see you around Bella," he said. Did I really catch a double meaning in his words? I shuddered and turned back to Edward, but not before tossing the little card into the fireplace to burn it.

"Ready to leave Bella?" he asked me, and I nodded eagerly, all thoughts of Bob forgotten. We made our escape to his Volvo and drove in silence to the hotel we would be spending the night in.

I noticed the large pile of bags in the backseat of the car.

"What are those for? We're only spending one night," I pointed out, and he grinned.

"Surprise! We leave tomorrow for a honeymoon to Kerala!" Edward exclaimed happily, and my jaw dropped.

"Kerala, _India_?" I asked in disbelief, and he nodded eagerly.

"It's the rainy season, so we don't have to worry about the sun. My family and yours have paid for it already. We're staying in a cabin on a lake," he explained, and I suddenly got very excited.

"Amazing. I can't wait!" I said, and he smiled over at me. I realized that we were at the hotel.

He carried me bridal-style up to the front doors, pushed them open, and the receptionist smiled pleasantly as we neared the desk.

"Room for Cullen," he said, and she handed him the key.

Edward set me down as he unlocked the door once we had arrived to our room, and he held the door for me.

"Thank you, Mr. Cullen," I said, as I walked into the room

It was massive…a huge window that overlooked the city, a Jacuzzi, a television, and a gigantic bed, clothed in sheets of bright red and gold.

"You're welcome, Mrs. Cullen," he said, and wrapped his arms around my waist as I stood in shock staring at the size of the room.

"You like?" he asked as his lips brushed down my neck to my shoulder.

"I love it," I choked out, my breathing erratic.


	17. Thump Thump

**Going Under**

**Ch. 14 – Thump-thump**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, though I was told in a review that my story is almost as good as the book! Go me!**

Time passed.

Had it?

I'm not sure how much had passed, a month, a day, a few hours…I was too happy to notice. Or care.

Time was not an issue with me, or Edward, or anybody after you're married. Well, I suppose it becomes an issue when you're mortal, but when you're immortal…I count the stars every night and thank God that I will have more years than all of those stars added together. Times two.

"Oh Bella, I can't believe we've been married for six months," Edward whispered as he nuzzled my neck, blowing his cold breath on the exposed skin of my throat.

I guess he'd been counting…

"I know, it's amazing. I can hardly believe it's been that long," I replied, twisting a lock of his beautiful bronze hair between my fingers. He moved his head up and kissed my lips, then untangled himself from my limbs and stood up, stretching. We were in our meadow; we came here at least twice a week.

"Time to go already?" I asked with a pout, and he and pulled me to my feet.

"Yes silly, it is," he said, and pulled me into his arms.

I sighed and snuggled into his chest as we ran through the forest, but it ended too soon, for we were quickly back at the car.

The honeymoon was amazing; India was beautiful, and it rained so much that we barely got to leave the house. I grinned to myself as the memories came back to me.

We drove back to Oregon, listening to music and arguing about which song was the best, the worse, or the most pointless.

We passed a park on the way home, teeming with little, innocent lives. Their giggles were loud in our strengthened hearing. Edward's hands tightened on the steering wheel. Being around children or babies always made me sad. Knowing that I could never carry anything in my womb, I could never give life to anything, made me so sad. I felt useless, and I spent a great deal of time crying about it during our first two months of marriage.

As time passed, however, I came to accept the sad fact. If Edward and I really wanted to have children, we could always adopt a few. The idea wasn't quite as welcoming as having a baby of my own, but it would give an unwanted child a happier home.

"It's okay Edward," I said quietly, and he looked over at me with a sad expression. The fact that he could never make me a mother tortured him as much as it did me.

After a while, somehow, the mood lightened and we began to talk again. He even cracked a few jokes. This is what happened almost every time we saw little kids, but we would always get over it. The little beings that stole our thoughts and occupied our minds so long were slowly becoming not as attention-grabbing, since our family kept us busy.

"Dance with me!" Edward exclaimed, mocking Emmett at our wedding. This caused me to laugh hysterically; I often made Aaron take me back to that memory with his power just to see Emmett so drunk. He was _hilarious_.

I noticed that I was getting tired the past few weeks, which meant that I was nearing that one night a month that I had the gift of sleep. It was great to rest and in the morning feel so refreshed…

I sighed happily and thought about sleep. Maybe I could sleep tonight?

"What are you thinking about Bella?" Edward asked me when I had grown quiet. I could see that it still bothered him immensely that he could not read my thoughts, and I still found it rather amusing.

"Just wondering when I'll be able to sleep again. I feel tired, so it must be soon," I explained, and he smiled. I knew he fought back feelings of jealousy that I could sleep, though scarcely, for it was better than nothing.

"Ask Alice," he suggested, and I shook my head.

"Nah, I don't want to cheat," I said, and he nodded. I didn't like to use Alice unless completely necessary, since her visions were sometimes very unreliable.

We pulled up into the driveway of our home. We had bought a beautiful, cozy little house right smack between the Hadrian's and the Cullen's houses. It was white and had a big bay window in the front with a cushion to sit on and stare outside. There was a living room, fully equipped with a grand piano, a kitchen, and half a bathroom on the bottom floor, and on the top was our bedroom, a full bathroom, and a library with a fireplace. Our backyard was only a few yards away from the forest, which of course was full of plenty of animals to hunt upon.

I got out of the car and pulled the key from my pocket, dropping it in Edward's palm. He unlocked our door and let me go inside first, where I turned on a few lights around the house.

Edward sat down on the couch and turned the TV on, tuning it to a stupid sitcom that neither of us watched; we were too preoccupied with each other. We chased each other up the stairs a while later, giggling like morons.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

The next morning I awoke to a horribly annoying drum beat. We didn't live next to rowdy neighbors who played music too loud, and the next time I checked we definitely didn't have a drum set. My face screwed up in confusion, and I covered my ears, annoyed that I had woken up potentially earlier that I could have, had I not been interrupted by such a petty thing as this.

"Edward, make it stop," I moaned. He didn't reply, so I assumed he wasn't there. I was about to get up when I recognized the pattern of these beats.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

_What the hell?_ _What makes that noise?_

I racked my brain for the answer…it was so familiar, yet so absolutely alien.

I sat straight up in bed as I realized just what was making that noise. The pillows went flying and I clutched the white sheet to my exposed body as I looked down at Edward, who was staring at me, his mouth forming the shape of a tiny black 'o'. The internal drum inside of me sped up as Edward's expression registered in my mind.

"Edward," I whispered, barely able to find the words.

"Why is my heart beating?


	18. Dead or Alive

**Going Under**

**Ch. 15 – Dead or Alive**

**Disclaimer: Your mom owns Twilight and New Moon! Gosh!**

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward asked once he managed to find his words again.

"I…what's wrong with me Edward?" I asked, my heart still beating wildly.

"I'm not sure Bella, but we need to go see Carlisle," he whispered. "Why don't you go get dressed and we'll drive over there," he suggested, and I nodded, blushing furiously as I realized that I wore nothing but the sheet.

His eyes lit up as the blush consumed my entire face, instead of must my cheeks, spread down my neck, and even tinted my shoulders.

Taking the sheet with me, I crossed the room as fast as I could, but it felt as if my legs were trapped in quicksand.

My face screwed up in concentration as I tried to go quicker, but I could only go as quick as a human. Which wasn't quick at all.

Edward was watching in fascination as I got dressed in shorts and a t-shirt. I crouched down in the closet just outside of the door and angrily slammed my feet into my flip flops.

I stood up too fast and hit my head on the doorknob. It hurt like hell and made me dizzy, but this wasn't the reason why I began to cry. I sank to my knees, sobbing into my hands, so _angry _with myself.

Edward, dressed and waiting by the door, ran over and hugged me tightly, cradling me to him; he was being caring, but I couldn't breathe. I could have sworn I felt my ribs crack again.

"Edward, you're hurting me," I gasped, trapped in his embrace.

He let go of me quickly, and I stood up.

"I'm sorry," he said, but I just shook my head and buried myself in his chest again, turning his light grey shirt dark with my tears.

Edward draped his arms around my shoulders gently, then picked me up and carried me down the stairs. He set me down so he could lock the door, and I walked to the car by myself, feeling like a sloth.

How had I lived eighteen years being so slow and fragile?

We drove together to the Cullen residence, and I urged him to go faster, begged him, but he refused. The speedometer's needle rested on '75' the entire trip there, never faster, never slower.

Edward let me walk inside instead of carrying me, which he obviously would prefer to do so that I would not hurt myself with my human frailty.

"Bella!" Emmett yelled excitedly, rushing outside when he heard Edward's car on the driveway. He was running very fast, and I realized that he was going to tackle me. I squinted my eyes shut and crouched down, bracing myself for the impact, but it never came, for Edward had flung himself between the charging Emmett and myself. Seeing this, Edward's brother stopped mid-run, knowing that something was wrong.

"Bella?" he asked, and I peeked up at him from between my fingers. Embarrassed, I flushed and stood up, brushing my pants off with what must have looked like exaggerated slowness to them.

"Not now Emmett," Edward said, and held my hand as he escorted me inside.

"Bella!" Alice squealed happily, running over to hug me. As soon as she touched me, however, she jumped back as if I had electrocuted her. Her eyes were wide, her mouth open, and she looked like Edward when we had first heard it this morning.

The rest of the family appeared a few seconds later, and I knew from their expressions that they all heard it…the steady beat of my heart as it forced hot, oxygenated blood through my body and then pulled it back to be re-oxygenated. I could almost _feel_ the fresh surge of tangy venom coating the insides of their mouths as they controlled the urge to suck me dry.

"Carlisle, we need to talk," Edward said. His adoptive father nodded, stunned. Edward, me, and Carlisle filed into his office, and sat down, Carlisle behind his desk.

"I think…I think that Bella's heart has started," Edward managed.

_Duh_, I thought bitterly. I folded my arms over my chest and sank back into my chair, angry.

"I sme-…I see," Carlisle said, catching himself before he uttered a rather embarrassing social faux pa.

"Well?" Edward pressed, and Carlisle folded his arms, studying me.

For the longest time, he stared at me. Not quite knowing what to do, I looked at everything else in the room, pretending not to notice, then casually let my eyes fall on my father-in-law.

He got an idea, apparently, for he got up and retrieved his doctor's bag and then kneeled down in front of me. He then, basically, gave me a physical with the exception of weight and height.

"Well Bella, you are definitely human again. But as to why this happened…or how this happened…I have no explanation. I have never heard of such a case, in all my years of living," Carlisle admitted.

"Can't you bite me? I hate being human!" I complained, and I was met with a rather odd look from both my husband and Carlisle.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to keep you under observation for a few weeks. Would that be alright with you? If this problem doesn't fix itself or new problems arise, I see no objections in changing you again," Carlisle explained.

I thought about it for a moment, and then I agreed.

"Alright, as long as you swear that I'll be a vampire again before September," I said, and the both nodded.

"Of course Bella," Edward said, finally speaking after this entire time.

After Esme made a call to the Hadrian's and told them that there was an emergency, we were all seated in the living room. Twenty eyes of topaz rested on my body. My face seemed to be stuck in permanent blush-mode, especially when I realized that nobody was breathing. Soon enough, they began to talk amongst themselves in hushed tones and I was about to cry again.

"I am HERE you know!" I yelled at them.

They all stared at me apologetically and stopped talking.

Five minutes later, the silence crushing, I flung myself off the couch, opened the front door, and slammed it behind me. I slid into the car, jammed the keys in the ignition, and felt a pair of cool hands on mine, gently taking them off the steering wheel and scooting me over to the passenger's seat. I knew it was Edward, but I couldn't see him because of the angry tears built up in my eyes.

He took me home and let me be angry by myself; he went and took a walk while I threw things around the house and then cleaned it up before he got home.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

About three days later, Edward said he could hear a second heartbeat, a much fainter and faster one then mine, and after a trip to his home, Carlisle told us that I was pregnant, almost a month along.

It was hard to believe at first, and I seemed to be in amazed denial for about a while, but once Olivia took me to the mall to look at baby clothes, toys, and furniture, it all snapped and suddenly, I was a mother.

As of right now, it was the Forth of July, and Aaron and Michelle were throwing a party. All of the Cullen's were here, along with Edward and myself. It was still in the morning, however, and Edward had put me in the car while I still slept early this morning after dressing me.

I was curled up in a ball on the couch, with a warm blanket wrapped around me, fast asleep. I dreamt of Edward carrying me into the meadow, and instead of all the beautiful wild flowers that grew, there was crawfish dressed as elves carrying candy canes in their pinchers.

Just as Edward set me down to go look at them, I felt a weird sensation in my ear. I reached up to brush it away, and then Edward giggled. I let it go, and not ten seconds later it was there again. I slapped it now, hard, and was woken up when I popped myself in the side of the head with my open palm.

I opened my eyes, my head spinning, and saw Emmett rolling on the floor laughing, a feather clutched in his big hand.

"Y-y-you slapped yourself!" he howled, clutching his sides as he continued to laugh at me.

I stood up, shaking and nauseous, a thin layer of sweat shining on my flushed face, and I felt the bile rising in my throat. I opened my mouth to let it out, and my breakfast shot a good five feet away from me, splashing down on the white carpet of the family room. I wretched again, jumping back to get away from it, and a puddle formed on the floor.

Emmett had stopped laughing. I looked down at him lying on the floor, the feather still in his hand, covered in the contents of my stomach. He spat on the floor repeatedly.

"Oh my GOD," he screamed as he rolled over, picking himself up.

"You couldn't have just asked me to stop?!" Emmett exclaimed as my breakfast dripped off of him.

By now everyone was here, laughing, except for Rosalie who was glaring at me and Edward who was glaring at Emmett.

"Sorry Emmett," I said sheepishly. Thankfully all of my sick was on either him or the floor, none of it on me.

"Don't apologize Bella, it's not your fault you have morning sickness," Edward said soothingly as he took me outside to get some fresh air.

"I hate doing that," I said once we were standing on the front porch together. I was taking great lung-fulls of fresh air, trying to calm my churning stomach. Edward was rubbing circles into the small of my back with one hand, the other resting on the small bump on my midriff. I was about three months along, almost four, according to Carlisle.

"What, puking on Emmett or puking in general?" Edward teased, and I shot him a don't-go-there look.

"I'm sorry Bells, I wish I could do some of the work," Edward said apologetically, staring at me with sincerity burning in his beautiful topaz eyes.

"Oh, you'll get your share once it's born," I said, and we both grinned.

"It's a deal," he agreed.

I was glad that I was wearing something light; it was pretty hot outside. I wore a denim mini-skirt, a light pink ribbed tank top, a white half-shirt that tied just above my baby bump, and a pair of black flip flops.

"Want to go back inside? They've cleaned the mess up," Edward said, and I nodded. He let go of me and let me inside.

Emmett was in the shower, apparently, and the rest of our families were seated on the couch, chatting. There was no sign that I had just vomited everywhere.

"Hey Bella, how do you feel?" Andrew asked as he rushed to my side.

"I'm better, thanks," I said, and he gave me a quick hug and sat down next to Olivia again. I could tell that they were all worried about me, but they knew that any looks of sympathy, prolonged staring, or murmuring to themselves caused me to get mad. Andrew, apparently, was the only one who braved my human-wrath.

I sat down on the couch next to Michelle, and she patted my hand.

"Hey sweetheart," she said, and I smiled at her.

Emmett came back downstairs a few minutes later, dressed in Andrew's clothing, and he sat as far away from me as he possibly could.

"Remind me never to mess with _her_ while she sleeps," he said to Carlisle, and the doctor failed to keep a straight face; he nearly blinded me with his white teeth as he grinned, but then saw me watching him and sobered up quickly.

I slipped off into a daydream, aware of the talking and laughing around me, but not really paying attention. I was staring off into space, with a hand resting on my protruding stomach, when I felt a little flutter of movement against my hand.

"It kicked! It kicked!" I exclaimed, and as soon as the words left my mouth, everyone was crowded around me, a hand on the small real estate of my belly, the baby kicked again.

"I felt it!" Alice trilled, jumping up and down.

Later that night after dark, we all crowded around the big ensemble of fireworks that Aaron and Andrew had provided for us in the front yard of my old house. Edward stood with his chin resting on the top of my head, his arms wrapped around my torso, as I gingerly sipped a can of Sprite, trying to calm my stomach which was acting up again.

"Fire in the hole!" Emmett bellowed as he stepped away from a small paper barrel, a blowtorch in his hand. The barrel ejected a flaming ball of paper up towards the sky, and, hundreds of feet above us, it exploded into an array of light. A _boom_ rang through the night as the burning embers fell towards the earth.

"I'll be back," Edward whispered in my ear, and he stepped away from me. Apparently he couldn't resist lighting stuff on fire, because he took the torch from Emmett and lit one himself.

And it was then as I stood there, surrounded by my family, that I was tackled to the earth by something very heavy, very hard, very cold, and very angry.

The impact knocked my breath out, and as I slid across the dew-covered grass, it pinned my arms and legs down and growled ferociously. I was not afraid for my life, but for the tiny life that was taking refuge inside my body.

I looked up at the vampire that threatened our lives and recognized him immediately.

It was not his pale skin, his familiar handsome-ness, or the crimson red eyes that made memories of my past human life bubble up to the surface of my consciousness, but it was his curly brown hair, no longer receding from his forehead, and his wide eyes, so like mine, that crinkled along the edges whenever emotions played across his face.

I looked up into the face of my biological father as his teeth crept closer and closer to my exposed neck.

"What have they done to you," I breathed.

He stopped and looked at me for the first time. Maybe it was the sound of my voice, or maybe it was the familiar look of my oh so human face that made him stop.

"Bella?" he choked.

Edward slammed into him then, growling like I've never heard him before, and Aaron helped me up, carefully supporting me as I stood, keeping a hand protectively on my midriff.

Once I realized what happened, I rushed forward towards the fighting mass on the ground that was Edward, Emmett, and Charlie.

"Don't hurt him!" I exclaimed, and the fighting stopped.

Carlisle took over then, escorting a struggling Charlie inside the house.

"Bella, are you alright?" Edward yelled as he rushed over to me, hugging me tightly.

"Yes, I'm fine. That was Charlie, Edward. Charlie as in my _dad_," I said.

"I know Bella. He tried to kill you!" Edward added, and I shook my head.

"He stopped when he realized it was me," I argued, but he wasn't having it.

"Bella, how can you defend him? I nearly lost both of you," he stated, and hugged me tightly again.

"Carlisle can teach him our ways! He can live with us Edward, just like Jasper when he was getting used to my scent," I said, jumping ahead of myself.

It seemed more like a child begging to keep a stray puppy than a daughter defending her father.

"Isabella Marie, he was going to _kill_ you. Do you understand what I am saying?" Edward said, speaking loudly as he checked my skull for injuries.

I slapped his hand away and folded my arms.

The baby kicked again, seeming to remind me of his or her presence. I cradled the small bump that was my child, and bit my lip.

How could it come to this?

How could I have to choose between the safety of my child and my father?

**(A/N: I owe all of my readers a massive apology for making you wait so long for this chapter! I hope you all like the twist(s) that I have added here. Please read and review! The reviews tell me whether I should continue or give up. And thanks so much for the incredible reviews that I have gotten so far. I really appreciate them. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!! )**


	19. Hello Daddy

**Going Under**

**Ch. 16 – Hello Daddy**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. And no I won't send you an autographed picture of myself! Puh-lease. What? You were serious? It'll be in the mail tomorrow. XD**

**(A/N: Sorry for the delay people, I started a new story. NO I'm not giving this one up…30,000+ words won't go to waste!)**

I was sitting dumbfounded on our couch at home, shaking my head. I had been in this position for about an hour now. Charlie a…a vampire? How does that happen? Edward startled me as he sat down next to me, handing me a steaming mug of coffee.

"Sorry to scare you," he said, watching my face carefully as I gingerly sipped the brown liquid.

"It's alright," I said, sounding preoccupied.

"Am I going crazy Edward, or did that just really happen?" I asked suddenly, turning to face him and setting my "It's A Girl" mug down on the coffee table.

"No sweetheart, that really happened. Charlie is no longer human, and apparently is not dead," Edward said gently, rubbing my hand softly.

"I can't believe it. I mean…I have to talk to him," I sighed, and just then, Edward's cell phone rang and he gracefully jumped up to answer it.

He spoke in brief tones, standing in the corner so I couldn't see his face. But his body language told me that he was arguing with someone. He flipped the phone shut suddenly and walked slowly back over to me.

"Bella…Carlisle said that…if you want to…you can go and talk to Charlie," Edward admitted, his hands behind his back.

I jumped up off the couch quickly and basically ran for the door.

"Whoa, whoa, where's the fire?" Edward said patiently, grabbing my hand and spinning me around to face him. I hugged him briefly to tell him that it was okay, and then we walked out to his car and we drove over to my family's home.

"Now listen, before we go in there," he started, taking my hand quickly before I could unbuckle my seatbelt. "They have Charlie restrained, okay? They took him hunting and he seems satiated, but there's no telling how potent your blood is to him. And Bella? Don't be surprised if he's not the same," Edward warned me.

My eyebrows furrowed at this statement, almost in despair, but I took a deep breath and nodded, signaling that I was ready to go inside. He responded by opening my door for me and, taking me by the hand, and led me inside. It was chilly in the house and it was a good thing that I had changed into a pair of jeans and an old baggy white t-shirt instead of the skirt I wore earlier.

The living room looked the same, and Edward squeezed my hand as he led me through the kitchen. It was empty too, so he took me upstairs.

"Hello?" I called out.

"We're in here," Andrew's deep bass voice called to me from a side room. We turned abruptly and entered Aaron's study. A man was sitting calmly in the high-backed plush chair that belonged to my 'adoptive' father. Andrew and Aaron's hands were resting on each of his shoulder, and Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, and Olivia were standing close by. The man tensed as I entered the room, his butterscotch eyes as wide as mine.

"Charlie?" I whispered at the same time that my name escaped his lips.

Without thinking, I rushed forward to hug him, but was restrained by Edward as he gently grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back a few paces.

"I'm not strong enough yet Bella, forgive me," Charlie said sadly in the same familiar voice. It had a musical inclination to it, however.

"No…I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," I said, fumbling for my words. I was so nervous…

"What…why…," I began, but I couldn't quite find what question I was looking for first. I settled for, "how did you become a vampire?"

He smiled in response, his white pointy teeth glinting in the faint light.

"I don't know. One minute I was washing the dishes, and the next minute I'm screaming in pain on the floor. I don't understand it myself…all I saw was a flash of red and then nothing," Charlie explained. I knew immediately what the 'flash of red' was. No doubt that Victoria had gotten to him before our little morbid dance.

"How long ago?" I pressed.

"A year after you…died," he replied, and I nodded.

"I don't understand. They gave you a funeral in Forks…I was at your grave Charlie, I saw it myself!" said I, thoroughly confused.

"I called and reported myself missing a week after I was changed. I couldn't just stay in Forks after I looked so…inhuman. I was so lost at first, I had no idea what I was for about an hour after my heart stopped but I was still living. The window was open and I could smell blood…immediately afterwards I fed and understood. I realized what the Cullen's were once I returned home, and I just knew you were still alive. I've been searching for you ever since," Charlie said, his emotions were strong and I silently wondered what Jasper was picking up from him.

"But what about the gravesite thing? Someone obviously found your body and had the thought to pay for a funeral."

"Well Bella, I did as you and faked my death. Except I didn't smash up a perfectly good vehicle in the process," Charlie said, giving me a stern look as he said this. I couldn't help but smile; I had wrecked my truck, burned it, and left a few strands of hair so they would think that I had been burned in the process. "I lay in the street for a while and someone eventually found me. They didn't suspect that I was the living dead since my heart didn't beat. Thank God they decided not to do an autopsy…that would have ended badly. Anyway, they stuck me in a coffin, held a ceremony in Forks, and down I went. It was hard work digging myself out of there, but apparently I succeeded. I was still working at it when I heard you crying for me…," Charlie continued, seemingly about to cry when he said the last sentence.

I wanted more than anything to rush up and hug him fiercely, but circumstances proved otherwise, so all I could do was wipe the tears from my eyes.

"I'm sorry dad, I never meant to cause you so much pain," I said quietly, looking at the floor.

"Don't apologize Bells, you did what was necessary," he reminded me, and I nodded.

"Where did you go dad? Have you been…killing people for fifty years now?" I asked after a while, and Charlie looked appalled.

"Isabella Marie!" he exclaimed in shock. "I found some more vampires in South America and they told me about the Denali clan in Alaska. They taught me to resist human blood, thank you very much," Charlie said proudly, then remembered what had happened earlier tonight. "You smell amazing Bella. I couldn't help myself…I hadn't hunted in days. I'll never understand how the Cullen's ever resisted your blood."

We talked for several more hours about every detail in his life and mine, from the change, to the fight, to the wedding…oh he loved hearing about the wedding. Every tiny bit of imagery he made me describe. Then Aaron simply took us back to the memory, and he was able to live it from his chair. It was great to watch it again…Edward looked so nervous and happy; we both did. In the memory he leaned down and kissed me, our first kiss shared as husband and wife, and he kissed me now too, at the same time our previous selves had. The kiss faded as the memory did, and he held me close, his chin resting on the top of my head. The look Charlie sent him caused him to back off a bit; apparently Charlie wasn't used to the idea that we were married. After a few moment of awkward silence, my dad opened his mouth and asked a question.

"Bella, why are you human again?"

I glanced up at Edward, who glanced down at me, and our eyes settled on Charlie.

"I don't know dad. I really don't. I just woke up one morning and my heart was going again like it had never taken a break for half a century. And then we found out…that I'm pregnant," I said, slowly.

Alice squealed and jumped up and down.

"I felt her kick today!" she exclaimed in excitement as Olivia rushed forward and grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling the loose fabric tight around my protruding baby bump.

"See?!" she squeaked in excitement, putting her hand on my round belly.

"Olivi-uh!" I groaned in annoyance, yanking my shirt back into place as a blush crept up my face. She ran over and joined Alice, who grabbed her hands and began jumping up and down while squealing together.

"That's enough girls," Esme said, though she looked just as excited even though she was keeping it in tight. Alice and Olivia calmed themselves and began to whisper furiously to each other though I couldn't catch a word.

I looked back to Charlie, my cheeks still rather pink, and waited for him to close his mouth, which was open in astonishment.

"I – you – I'm going to be a Grandpa!" he exclaimed, thrusting his fist into the air, causing his curly brown hair to bounce with the sudden movement.

Carlisle patted him on the back.

"I think it's time for you to be getting to bed Bella. It's pretty late," he advised, and I nodded with a sigh, wishing for more time with Charlie.

"Bye baby, I'll see you as soon as I can," Charlie said to me, waving at me from his restrained position on the chair.

"Bye dad, I'm so happy…," I started, but I couldn't finish for tears threatened to overtake me.

"Bye," I whispered, and Edward led me out of the room, drove me home, and put me to sleep.


	20. Rainless Showers and Sleepless Nights

**Going Under**

**Ch. 17 – Rainless Showers and Sleepless Nights**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon.**

**Note: The bolded words found in the text below are vocabulary words!! Check the end of chapter for their meaning, ok?**

Edward watched me from across the kitchen table as I scarfed the cheese omelet he had cooked for me. I was ravenous; I could eat so much now that I sometimes scared myself.

"No-one's going to take it away from you Bella, you can slow down. I don't want you to choke on an egg. It could be harmful for Riley," Edward said gently with a small smile, his eyes flicking down to the rounding of my stomach.

"Thank you very much Edward, but I'm eating for two people now," I said with a nasty look.

His small smile widened as I glared at him over the rim of the glass that was raised to my lips. I took a long draught of orange juice, then pushed my chair out and gathered my dishes. Before I could blink, however, the dishes were removed from my hands and Edward stood at the sink, scrubbing them as fast as lightning, dried them, and put them in the cupboard.

"I apologize, dear, my intentions were not of anger," Edward apologized, interlacing our fingers and walking us over to the couch.

"It's okay, sorry I flew off the handle," I said, and he responded by helping me sit down and rubbing my shoulders.

"Olivia and Alice called this morning. They want to take you shopping," Edward said after a while.

"Well I'm glad you said no," I said with a sigh.

He was silent, and I turned around and was met with a guilty face.

"Oh Edward, I can hardly walk around the house!" I told him, and then sighed.

In response to my complaining, Edward puffed his cheeks out a little and thrust his lower lip out, his eyes slanting downwards in the perfect pout that reminded me of a lonely puppy dog.

"Maybe it'll be good for me to move around some," said I, unable to look away from his adorable face. After he grinned and I realized what had just happened, I said, "That's not fair!"

"Yes, some blood flow to your feet would be appreciated," he said then, and before I could get mad, he added quickly, "Because they're just so swollen. They look painful."

"Can you believe in less than two months we'll have a baby? A baby of our _own_," I said in amazement, ignoring his last statement as I stared dreamily at the big cardboard box that Riley's little white crib had come in that was sitting at the curb outside.

"I know. I wonder what she'll look like," Edward sighed, staring down at my gigantic belly.

"Your stomach sure is big…but to think of a baby all folded up in there like that, it's kind of amazing she fits!" he commented, and I laughed.

"It's not that bad. At least I'm not fat. Just baby," I agreed with a grin as I rubbed my baby bump.

There was a knock at the door and before either of us could move it flung open and an excited-looking Alice and Olivia stepped through, brushing the snow off their fur-trimmed coats.

"There's Riley!" exclaimed Olivia, rushing forward and setting her hand on my belly excitedly.

"Nice to see you too!" I said with a grin as Alice grabbed my arm and pulled me off the couch.

"Easy, Al!" Edward warned as I stumbled forward from the force of her pull.

"Sorry Bella, I just can't wait to go shopping!" she squealed, clapping her hands.

"Yay shopping!" I enthused, trying to grin but it seemed more like a lopsided grimace.

"Oh Bella, we used to have such fun shopping together! Where did the enthusiasm go?" Olivia asked with a sigh, folding her arms.

"Olivia, do you _see_ me?" I asked, poking my belly. Riley responded with a soft kick; apparently she was awake.

"Oh yeah, I guess you're right. Oh well, too bad for you!" Olivia responded, poking my belly as she walked past me. Alice grabbed my wrist and literally dragged me out the door.

"Wait! You want my wife and daughter to freeze to death out there?!" Edward exclaimed, running after us with my jacket, purse, and toboggan in hand. He helped me into my coat, put my purse in my hand, and shoved my hat on my head.

"Thanks!" I said, kissing him quickly before ducking into the car.

"Please take good care of her!" he yelled back at us, waving as Alice pulled out of the driveway.

"I will!" we all called back at the same time, sending us into fits of giggling.

"What's her name going to be again?" Olivia asked, leaning forward to talk to me from the backseat; I had shotgun.

"Riley Claire Cullen," I replied as Alice pulled into the parking lot of the mall.

"Aw, that's so sweet! Are you awake in there Ri?" Alice said as we walked up to the front entrance, grabbing my belly on either side and shaking it gently. I could feel Riley kick and move around, and apparently Alice could too.

"I can't wait until she's born! We're going to have so much fun shopping together. It's going to be great!" she exclaimed.

"I know! And we're going to dress her in cute little pink clothes -" I started, "and paint her nails!" Olivia finished for me, and I slapped her a high-five.

I hadn't realized how excited I was about Riley until I saw the first tiny pink onesie that Alice held up for me to see. It was so _tiny._ But what really got me was when Olivia held up the little white socks and pink hat next to the onesie.

"It's so little," I whispered, feeling the tears spring to my eyes. I wiped them away quickly.

"Damn hormones," I mumbled, and grinned when Alice and Olivia cackled.

"You two are evil," I said, and they nodded in agreement as they advanced upon me.

"Do you like these Riley?" Alice cooed to my belly, laying the onesie across it as Olivia set the hat on top.

"They're gonna look so cute on you!" Olivia exclaimed as I picked the outfit off of my midriff and folded them, placing them in the tote bag over my shoulder.

We picked out about thirty more outfits for Riley, all of them pink, yellow, or white, tons of miniscule socks, some with frilly trims, a hat to match every outfit, a whole pile of incredibly soft receiving blankets, and a million bibs.

After stopping in the food court so that I could eat lunch, we walked over to Motherhood Maternity, where Alice and Olivia buzzed around the racks, picking out a few outfits for me.

"Remember you two, I'm only going to be pregnant for less than two months, then these clothes will be rendered useless," I said from my seat on the sofa pushed against the wall. I looked over next to me to see a mother nursing a new baby.

_That's going to be weird_, I thought with a shudder, and then turned to face my sisters again.

"I'm so tired of seeing you wear t-shirts and jeans every day," Alice complained, pulling me up off the couch.

"I second that!" Olivia agreed, and I grinned as they escorted me over to the dressing rooms.

"Okay, you can dress me 'till she's born," I said, and I waited patiently as they had a **spaz attack**, then shoved me into the room and locked the door.

I picked through the clothes they had given me and put together an outfit. I slid out of my white shirt and was about to put on the maternity shirt I had chosen, when I glanced in the mirror and saw a black haired vampire standing behind me.

"Alice FREAKING Cullen!" I exclaimed, my hand flying to my chest to feel my racing heart.

"Do you want me to go into an early labor?!" I hissed, catching my breath. Alice was laughing so hard that she was doubled over, slapping her knees.

"I'm…s-sorry!" she managed to say. I waited patiently for her to stop laughing, my arms folded and my lips pursed, when I realized that I was standing before her in jeans and a bra. I turned around and stuffed my arms into the shirt, one going through the neckline and the other missing completely. In my frenzied hurry to cover up, I successfully got tangled up in the shirt, my arms sticking straight up in the air, trying to fix it.

I felt a cold finger poke my belly and I jumped back, yanking my head out of the shirt (finally) and glaring down at Alice, whose eyes were on the giant bump on my stomach, as round as dinner plates.

"Your stomach is huge!" she exclaimed, poking it again.

"Alice!" I whined, my hands finding the proper sleeves.

"Not like fat-huge, but it's perfectly round like you swallowed a basketball or something!" she continued, poking me once again.

"She's going to be born with dents in her head if you keep poking her like that," I said, laughing at her horrified expression.

"I was _kidding_."

"Oh thank God!" she exclaimed.

I purchased several outfits, or rather they purchased several outfits for me, and we made our way out of the store. Well, almost out of the store, but we were stopped by an old lady who hobbled up to us and smiled sweetly up at me.

"Oh sweetie, I just saw that you were expecting and I wanted to say good luck! How far along are you, five months?" she asked me, patting my bump.

"Actually I'm a little over eight months," I corrected her respectfully.

"Is that so? You don't look that far along!"

"I'm pretty sure I am," I said, still nicely.

"That must be a tiny baby! I've never seen anybody as small when they're eight months!" she explained, and my jaw dropped.

"I feel huge! I can't even see my feet!"

The lady laughed in response, her eyes sparkling. "You sure a sweet thing. Good luck with your little girl," she replied, and then she hobbled away.

"Did anybody tell her that it was a girl?" Olivia asked, confused.

"Let's go," I urged, feeling a little weirded out.

We exited the mall and got to the car quickly. Everything was going normal until we pulled up into the Cullen's driveway.

"Why are we here?" I asked. "Shouldn't you take me home first?"

"I just want to dress you in one of those outfits that we bought you," Alice explained, helping me out of the car. Olivia carried all the shopping bags inside, lifting them at once without flinching, and Alice unlocked the door for us.

"Bella! What a pleasant surprise!" Esme said when she saw me.

"Hi Esme," I said as she gave me a hug.

"Where is everyone?" Olivia asked after receiving a hug too.

"They're out hunting with Bella's dad," she explained, and that was the last thing I heard before Alice dragged me upstairs, literally, and shoved me into the shower, again, literally.

I showered quickly and wrapped myself in the plush bathrobe, and as soon as I tied the sash, Alice and Olivia burst into the bathroom and ushered me over to the little stool that belonged to Alice's vanity. I was so used to this process that my hair was half-way done and my makeup finished before I said, "I thought you said you only wanted me to put on an outfit?"

"We both know that 'putting on an outfit' means hair and makeup," Alice reminded me, and I was quiet after that.

"Here you go Bella, go put this on," Olivia said, handing me some clothes. I accepted them and locked the door in the bathroom, checking the corners for Alice just in case before I dropped the bathrobe and replaced it with clothes. I looked at myself in the mirror and smiled. I actually looked pregnant! I wore a pair of white pants that were very comfortable but they weren't sweats, and a white shirt with spaghetti straps and a thick baby-pink empire waistband. It looked really cute with my belly poking out like that. My hair was in soft waves like it usually was but half of it was pulled up off of my face, and I wore mascara, sheer white eye shadow, a little bit of eyeliner, and pink lip gloss.

I exited the bathroom and found a pair of diamond earrings and some white flip flops waiting for me. After putting them on, I left Alice's room and descended the stairs.

"Bella! I didn't know you were pregnant!" Olivia said in mock surprise when she saw me.

"It actually doesn't look too bad," I agreed, looking down at my outfit.

"Dang straight it doesn't!" I heard Alice say, and after giving the girls a quick hug of gratitude, Alice was basically shoving us out the door.

"Wait, where's Esme? I wanted to talk to her!" I told her as Alice shut and locked the door behind us.

"She went and caught up with the guys," she explained, pulling me towards the car.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" I asked as I opened the car door and got inside.

"I want Edward to see you!" she explained, and I stopped asking questions because she was getting annoyed.

I was in the front seat, Olivia in the back, and Alice was driving. She turned down my street, and could barely squeeze past all the cars parked along the curb, lining the entire street.

"Someone must be having a party. How can people drive through here?" I said, a little annoyed.

"Looks like a baby shower," I commented as I saw several people walking down the street, holding big pink bags.

I heard a stifled giggle from behind me, and I looked away from the people to the faces of Alice and Olivia, who were grinning and trying not to laugh.

"What?" I asked, my brow furrowing in confusion. The car stopped and I looked up from their faces and saw that the people with the pink bags were walking into _my_ house, which was covered in pink and white balloons. I read the huge "IT'S A GIRL" sign stretched across the front of the house and gasped.

"It's _my_ baby shower!" I exclaimed in realization, clasping my hands together.

"Congratulations!" Alice and Olivia said, letting their giggles out now.

"Thank you!!!" I squealed, getting out of the car and rushing around to hug my sisters.

I walked into the house and smiled as I saw all the people gathering my living room, talking, dancing, laughing, as I turned to the mountain of gifts in the corner, all of the supplies that I would need for my daughter, to the smiling face of my beautiful husband running at a human pace over to greet me.

"Surprise!" he said when he reached me, hugging me and burying his face in my hair.

"Thank you so much Edward! I missed you so much," I told him, hugging him back. He pulled away and rubbed my protruding belly, greeting his daughter.

"It was the least I could do for you Bella. Come here, I have a surprise," he said, gently taking my wrist and leading me over to a group of people. He tapped someone on the back and Emmett turned around, as did Carlisle, Jasper, Esme, Rosalie, and…

"Charlie?" I asked in surprise, taking a small step back in reflex.

"It's alright Bella, I'm strong enough now. I promise," he said, his beautiful topaz eyes twinkling.

I looked up to Carlisle briefly for confirmation, and he gave me a small nod. Charlie held his arms out and I gladly ran into them, hugging him tightly. He stroked my hair and squeezed me gently before he let me go.

"I've missed you so much. Look how big little Riley is getting!" he said with a smile.

"I know. I'm feeling it," I said, drawing a laugh out of my family.

"Bella you remind me so much of your mother," Charlie said, gently touching my face.

"I'm still not used to seeing you here, perfectly preserved," he whispered, more to himself than anybody.

Before it could get too emotional, and with my crazy hormone levels it would soon get that way, Emmett cracked a stupid joke and got everyone laughing again.

"No alcohol for you tonight, we don't need another wedding night relapse," I told him sternly, pointing my finger at him before grinning.

He saluted me. "Yes ma'am!" he barked.

Edward put his arm around my shoulder and we walked around, talking to the people who came to celebrate Riley with us. There were so many presents, it took an hour and a half for Edward and I to open them all.

"I hope the ultrasound was right and she's not a boy, because he's going to be wearing a lot of pink!" I said as I unwrapped another pink item.

"You're such a dork, Bella," Edward said affectionately, nudging me in the arm with his elbow just as I was lifting a piece of cake to my mouth. It wobbled off the fork and fell to the ground, splatting on the white carpet.

I looked at the pink icing on the white carpet and kneeled down to try and pick it up, but an inebriated Emmett skipped towards me, his giant feet coming closer and closer…

"No!" I said, but too late; his shoe landed on the cake, grinding the pink into the carpet.

"Emmett, you blockhead!" I exclaimed, scrubbing at he stain with a napkin hopelessly.

"It's okay Bella, I'll clean it up later," Edward promised, helping me up.

"Whose idea was it to serve alcohol at a baby shower anyway?" I asked him.

"It wasn't. There wasn't supposed to be any," he explained.

With a sigh I looked back up at Emmett, and blushed crimson red in embarrassment. I buried my face in my hands as he beat on Edward's piano.

"Dance with me!"

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

I threw the last wad of wrapping paper away and sat, exhausted, on the armchair. The house was clean, everyone was gone, and the stain was out of the carpet. Edward was tuning his piano, and soon my lullaby dulled my senses and relaxed my tense muscles. I was an inch from sleep as he hit the last note gently and sweetly.

"Thank you," I said drowsily as he lifted me off the chair and carried me to bed. He laid me down gently on top of the soft covers, and I was out.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Where are you going?" Edward asked as I sat up in bed and kicked the covers off. The alarm clock red 2:37 am.

"The bathroom," I said, my voice cracking with fatigue.

I flicked on the bathroom light and waited for my eyes to adjust. I caught sight of myself in the mirror; my hair was a mess and I wore a white sweater over a blue silk nightgown.

When I was finished I washed my hands, turned off the light, and walked back to bed. Five minutes later I was up again and back in the bathroom. Again I washed my hands, turned the light out, and I had to run back before I even made it to bed again.

"Are you alright Bella?" Edward called in worry. I could just hear his voice over the running of the water in the faucet.

"I'm fine. I had a lot to drink tonight," I said, more for my sake.

"Oh," Edward said as I climbed under the covers and closed my eyes. After an hour I awoke to an odd sensation in my stomach. It felt like very strong cramps. I curled my knees up to my chest in an attempt to stop the pain, and after a minute it was gone. Fifteen minutes later it was back again. I tossed and turned in an attempt to relive myself of it, but almost as soon as it came it was gone.

I could almost feel Edward's eyes on me, but my eyes were on the clock. This had been going on for an hour now.

"Oh!" I gasped as it returned, intensified, and I reached for Edward's hand.

"We need to go," I said, my voice full of fear. Edward literally flung himself out of bed and ran to the closet, grabbing my bag that we had packed a week ago, and a smaller bag that was Riley's. I pulled myself out of bed and changed into a pair of jeans and a green shirt, then I put my feet into my slippers and Edward gently took my arm, supporting me as I walked down the hall.

"Are you alright? Do you need anything?" he asked me, the words flying out of his mouth. Was he shaking?

"Are you nervous?" I asked, finding this funny, as he helped me into the car and threw my bags in the backseat.

He looked over at me, kissed my cheek, and we pulled away from the house. He was on his cell phone as soon as he left the street, calling Carlisle.

"Carlisle, Bella's in labor," he said quickly, his breathing quickening.

"Ow, ow, ow," I mumbled, biting down on my lip as I experienced another contraction.

"Oh no! She's in pain Carlisle!" he basically yelled into the phone.

"I am calm!" he exclaimed, making me jump. Despite the pain, I laughed at his reaction. He was more afraid than I was.

I stopped laughing as he pulled into the parking lot of Banks General Hospital. He parked up front, hung up his cell phone, and ran around the car to help me out. Taking my arm, he walked me up the sidewalk.

Behind the sliding doors that I was about to enter were the bright lights and busy environment of a hospital.

Behind those sliding doors awaited my room that the doctors were prepping for me.

Behind those sliding doors, I would give birth to my first child in less than twenty-four hours.

Behind those sliding doors was my destiny.

My life was changing today.

**Vocabulary:**

**Spaz Attack (adj): Reaction of Olivia and Alice when they see something they like.**

**Other:**

**Bella's outfit for the shower is on my profile**


	21. Sub Ch 4 That Braxton Hicks

**Going Under**

**Sub Ch 4 – Braxton Hicks**

"Edward, just take a deep breath for me," Carlisle's voice said in my ear, his arm wrapped firmly around my upper arm.

My vision swam slightly, but I did as I was told and took a deep breath. I was staring up at a ceiling of some sort, with bright lighting. I could smell rubbing alcohol and latex gloves, and Carlisle's head was floating above me, concern and amusement in his eyes. All at once, ten heads formed a small ring above me, and twenty-two topaz eyes stared at me, familiar faces masked with shock and anxiety.

Emmett was fighting the urge to laugh, and Jasper's brow was knitted in worry. Alice seemed to be jumping up and down as she clutched Olivia's hand, who looked equally, if not more, excited. Esme was holding Michelle's hands. Aaron was standing next to Charlie, conversing in a hushed tone.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice sounding perfectly fine, though my head did not feel quite so right.

"Well, it seems you passed out, son," Carlisle said, the faint hint of a smile pulling up the corners of his lips.

"Passed out?" I repeated in confusion.

"Well, yes. Bella had a contra--," Aaron started, but at the beautiful word 'Bella', I flung myself off of the ground and stood up, ignoring the swimming of my vision, and followed Bella's scent into her room, forcing myself to run at a human pace the entire ten steps there. It was absolutely agonizing, but I finally made it, and nearly had a heart attack as I saw Bella hooked up to a million monitors, biting her lip as she fought the pain of the contraction she was having.

"Oh Bella, my sweet, sweet Bella. I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed, grabbing her hand as gently as I could, my brow knitting together in sympathy, confusion, and a million apologies.

"Don't apologize Edward…it's not your fault," she said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

Another contraction came, and she squinted her eyes shut, whimpering softly.

"Okay, maybe it is your fault," she gasped, opening her eyes again.

I smiled at her apologetically, and she managed to smile back.

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Michelle, Aaron, Olivia, Andrew, and Charlie all filed in one after the other, Carlisle wearing green scrubs and his lab coat and carrying a clipboard.

"Well Bella, it seems that despite all this pain you're having, you're doing incredibly well!" Carlisle said with a 1000 watt smile.

Bella simply nodded, and I helped her sit up more in bed, arranging the pillow for her and fanning her with a manila folder I had picked up off of the stand of monitors.

"But, despite what you may think," Carlisle began, and my head snapped up at his thoughts.

_Not in labor_? I thought, frowning.

"You're not actually in labor. What you are having are called Braxton Hicks contractions…basically they're fake contractions. We're not quite sure why they happen, but it seems that you've got quite the case of them," Carlisle explained.

"What are you talking about? It hurts _so bad_. How can I not be in labor?" Bella said, her brow creased with worry.

"Braxton Hicks contractions are not even half the strength of real contractions," Carlisle said, causing Bella to nearly faint, and me to glare at him.

"Now I'm not saying that they'll get worse, Bells, because chances are they won't. But we'd like to keep you here under observation for a few hours. If these Braxton Hicks start to go away, we'll send you home, since you aren't due for another…," he trailed off, checking the chart in his hands briefly. "Five weeks," he finished, looking back up at my wife.

"I can't go home now?" my sweet Bella asked.

"No dear…we'd like to monitor Riley to see if anything different happens," Charlie spoke up, his eyes trying to hide the distress of seeing his daughter in so much pain.

Bella nodded, trying to remain brave. It killed me inside to see her acting so perfectly, and the occasional whimper or flinch made me want to writhe in pain.

I set my hand on her expanse of baby belly, and she set hers over mine, our fingers interlacing and our wedding bands catching the faint glow coming from one of the fetal monitors next to her bed.

"We'll get through this baby," I said softly, stroking the top of her head gently with my free hand.

"I just have one request," Bella said weakly, eyes closed as another fake contraction came and went.

"Anything, baby, anything," I told her sincerely.

Her eyes opened, filled with pain, giving her a slightly crazed look. She opened her mouth to speak, and a simple order escaped her lips.

"Find Braxton Hicks," she began, "and kill him."


End file.
